Death And Other Sweet Things
by Isfelvic
Summary: Valerie doesn't want Peter, she doesn't want Henry...she just wants Patricia. Femslash! OOCness! slightly AU. rating my change depending on how graphic I get with killings and other things.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I have been gone for a very long time. So...I figured in my return I'd do something outside my range of DWP, Twilight, And Bleach...Ever so sweet little Red...here I come!**

**I will soon be re-writing my Twilight Saga fics. To better personalize Alice in better character. Bear with me. The more reviews I get...the faster I can get to finishing that up. I'm a little rusty at writing so let me know what you think!**

**Warning!: femslash, yuri...don't like it?** (Do I sound like I give a shit? No I do not.) **OOCness! Kinda AU cause I added a person :p**

**Hope you guys missed me :)**

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><p>People always tell you that you're in control of your life. But sometimes…you can't be. You can be in the wrong place at the wrong time and it goes from there.<p>

Maybe that's why my mother always told me to be home right on time. No talking to strangers.

'_Get the water and come home right away.'_

I tried to listen. I wanted to. I really did, but when you act on instinct…it's hard to take that step back before you fall over the cliff side.

We were childhood friends…and even though we'd get into some trouble sometimes (usually not my fault), I was always pushed back to the right side.

'_I'm sorry…you're supposed to be a good girl…you shouldn't follow me around.'_

I didn't listen. And it wasn't very often I was forced to.

Patricia.

She was like her brother Peter, dark and mysterious…like that dark heartbroken prince in all the stories. But then she wasn't like him. Peter didn't care about breaking the rules. He didn't care if he got his sister and me into trouble. But she always took the blame for me when we got caught doing silly things.

Peter would always scoff and say I was a chicken.

'_You're a big cry baby!'_

She would always fight him back and say he was the one afraid, because as soon as trouble came around…he was dust in the wind.

She was like my knight.

I tried to keep us both out of trouble…but sometimes…she got curious. She didn't mean to look for trouble, but her curiosity always won out. And I always followed.

She'd tell me not to. She'd tell me all the time. But I never listened. And she only forced me to stay away once and a while.

I was drawn…her wild dark hair…she always kept it shorter than the other girls. Just above her shoulder. Her wild scent of poison berries and grass with the fog still coating it. The scent of fresh dirt was always on her hands. And wild flowers.

If I knew Mother Nature…I'd say she must have a scent just like Patricia.

'_Be good Valerie.'_

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><p>"Valerie!" I looked up to see Patricia hop down into the creek we got water from. She grinned at me; her hair was ruffled, like she'd just run sprints through the trees to get to me. She offered me her hand. She didn't even have to say anything…I just took it.<p>

We sunk down under a larger tree's roots. "Look," she pointed. A small white rabbit. "It means it'll be winter soon."

Once the hare was on the bait…I pulled the string and the trap we'd made closed over it. Patricia jumped up and ran over to get it. I followed, of course.

She held it carefully. "You wanna keep it?"

I reached out to take it and pet its head. It was cotton soft. "My mama wouldn't let me." It was a shame; it didn't struggle to get away or anything. It would have been a perfect pet.

"I bet it has a family."

I smiled. "Probably."

She dug into the pocket of her stitched pants and pulled out some seeds. She gave it to the animal and it took them greedily. I looked up at her; sometimes it was annoying to always have to look up at her. But she couldn't help it…so it was kinda nice sometimes.

"Why're you so nice and your brother is so mean?" I asked curiously, petting the soft head of the hare.

She shrugged. "My mother calls him a bad seed. Like he's part of a rotten apple."

Then she must have been from something amazing then. I grinned. "It's good you're not like him then." I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she smiled shyly but happy. When we let the rabbit go and headed home, she returned the kiss and ran off somewhere…I wanted to follow just like always…but she was always faster than me.

We did everything together…and I learned as the years went by…Peter liked me. A lot. But…I didn't want him. I wanted Patricia.

She was my first kiss…I remember…it was on the celebration of the new year…she brought me winter lilies. And when everyone was busy cheering and screaming at the dances and drinks in the center of the village…she pulled me far aside and kissed me. It felt like my heart would burst.

And however painful that felt…I was so happy…and it was a feeling I'd always enjoy. That bursting happiness.

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><p>Years later…she became a woodcutter with her brother. The first woman to do so. It just proved how strong she was, how strong she wanted to be. She said she did it so she would be strong enough to protect me.<p>

I helped my mama and papa around with everything seeing as I wasn't strong like she was.

And even though she was always telling me to be good and not to do what she did…I did it anyways. Like the time she snatched a travelers wallet. She hadn't meant to do it for fun, her mother was sick and they needed medicine and more food. Even so…she still grinned at me when she got back to our hiding place. She gave me some of the extra money to buy whatever I wanted.

She was the good one…Peter once killed a fox just because…he'd shown it to us…I was sick for the rest of the day. He still didn't understand why.

'_Be a good girl.'_

Even as I tried my hardest to be…it didn't stop me from stealing her ax just for fun sometimes.

"I know it's you Valerie." She chuckled, but it sounded funny…like something was wrong. When I jumped out and tried to look intimidating, she chuckled. And I saw the hurt look on her face even through the distance.

"Pat…," I called, holding the ax carefully at my side like a cane. She walked closer; she gave me that grin that made me melt.

She and Peter looked a lot alike, dark and charming. But when he looked at me…he always looked like he wanted to actually eat me alive. When she looked at me…it was like seeing the whole world (even though I'd never left the village…not even to see the city).

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head; her hair was tied up today. "Nothing, I just don't want you to hurt yourself."

I scoffed and pulled it out of her reach. "I've taken this before, and I've never once gotten hurt. And don't change the subject, you're a terrible liar." She was, or maybe only I could tell because I was around her all the time.

"So you really don't know?"

I frowned. "Know what?"

She takes the cutter away from me carefully. "You've been arranged to marry that Henry Lazar. The blacksmith."

I stared at her, for half a second I thought she was kidding…that it was just another bad joke of hers. But when she gave me that horribly serious stare…I didn't know what to say. My brain scrambled for words. "But,"

She shook her head. "It's a good think Vale…he has money."

"I don't want money…I don't want anything he can _buy_ me." I snapped, stating to pace. "I don't want him. I don't even know him." This must have been mama's idea. "I guess she got what she wanted." I mumbled.

"Who?" I didn't ask how she'd been able to hear me.

"My mother. She's always wanted more money."

"Woodcutters don't make very much, that isn't a secret." Patricia reasoned. "There's nothing wrong with wanting something more to make yourself happy."

"I don't want more." I pressed my back into a tree, ignoring the bark digging into my spine. I didn't want money, or a bigger house, or nicer things. I just wanted Patricia.

She set down the ax and copied me, leaning against the tree and staring up into the leaves. "Do you want to marry him?"

"I just told you."

"Yeah, but if you're honest with yourself…would it really be so bad. To have nicer clothes and a bigger house. You may even get to go to the city."

"It would be nice. But I don't want it." I sighed, leaning against her still taller frame. She was almost as tall as the other boys. It was strange.

She hummed. "Prove it." I looked up, her face was obscured by the sunlight, all I could see was the outline of her face and a laughing brown eye looking down at me as the light turned her hair gold. I just wanted her.

"How?"

"Come away with me." She stepped away, I watched her with a smile. "It'll be fun."

I couldn't help my slight giggle, but the grin was permanent. Just the idea was thrilling. "And go where?"

"Anywhere you wanted. I'd get you there." This was what I meant. She didn't mean it to sound like a bad idea…but it did sound that way. Like a delinquent plan…but I loved it…I loved her. "You know I'll take care of you."

I knew.

"We could go to the city…or to the south with the oceans that are warm all the time. Or even east to the flat lands. The desert…although it'd be hot and dry." She grinned. "I'll take you anywhere you want to go. Everywhere."

She had the amazing ability to make everything sound deliciously amazing. "Sounds wonderful."

"You're not scared to leave the village are you?" She teased. She did this all the time when we were kids. I couldn't be afraid…not with her looking over me. I shook my head; she walked closer and loomed over me as my back hit the tree again

"No, I know you'll protect me."

She braced her hands on either side of me. It was moments like this that I appreciated the fact that she was a few inches taller than me. "So you'd be willing to leave everything for me?" She lowered a hand and I sighed when I felt it press into my side. "You'd do that for me?"

"Whatever it takes. You're all I want." I answered without missing a beat. Of course I'd miss my family and friends…but Patricia…she was like the moon and the sun to me…my life.

"Then you have to stay." She smiled sadly.

"What?" No…I wanted to run away with her.

She stood back and offered her hand, I took it…I was always eager to be as close to her as possible. "I'm not my brother. I'm not gunna make you choose." She pulled me closer.

It was another thing I loved about her. Her selflessness, I admired it. "Maybe I want to."

She chuckled, brushing some of my hair behind my ear. "That's your answer to everything." She leans in closer and I can smell mint leaves on her breath. And cinnamon. I loved it. "Come on, let's head back." She takes my hand and reaches behind me for her ax.

"Good doer!" I taunted, stepping away with a wide grin on my face.

"Only for you darling." She laughs. Which was kind of true….she didn't get along well with others our age. She mostly got along with the kids the best…and me of course.

We had only taken a few steps before we heard the village church bell start to ring. It wasn't time for any ceremonies of any kind…so it could only mean one thing.

"The wolf."

Patricia pulled me into a run as we raced for the village.

* * *

><p>The silence was frightening. Patricia let me lead the way through the stacks of hay and flowers. When we were little…we'd always come out here.<p>

Thinking about it numbed my nerves for a moment.

'_Roses are red, violets are blue,'_ she'd looked me in the eye and smiled_. 'And sugar is sweet…and I like you.'_ It was her first admission to saying how she felt for me.

'_I like you too.'_ Just remembering that grin of hers…even if I got to see it every day…just thinking about it made me feel a little better. She'd plucked a whole stack full of them and made a makeshift bed for me. I smelled like flowers for a week.

Nobody was ever as sweet to me at Pat. Nobody.

And just when my worry and fear was starting to lift…the way my friends looked at me…it made it all come crashing back.

The wolf…

It had killed…I stopped in front of Roxanne and Prudence. "Who was it?" I asked. I was afraid of the answer.

"Your sister."

No…no that couldn't be true. I pushed my way through the growing crowd. Mother and father were there… "Mother…father?" I only called them that when I was stressed. They turned to me. I could feel Pat hovering behind me, that unconventional vow that she was there for me.

My parents stepped aside, my father was stoic with a hurt look in his eyes, and my mother was trying to keep herself from breaking down into tears.

I felt my breath escape my lungs. This wasn't real…this was just a bad dream. I wished so much it was just some nightmare. My sister…my only sister…

"Lucie!" I didn't know what to do. I knelt beside her and shook her…like she was asleep and that blood stain was just red wine and she was drunk. But she was cold to the touch and pale…she wasn't waking up.

It started snowing that night.

Pat was finally the one that pulled me away, and I took comfort in her warmth. She was alive and breathing. It was comforting…my hands had been freezing from the snow and the body that eventually went stiff.

She left me with my family to grieve as she went to get a candle to light so she could properly pay her respects to my sister.

I lit all the candles, noticing my father drinking more than usual tonight. It was terrible…horrible and gruesome. I still felt sick.

Roxanne's brother, Claude, gave me a little angel doll. He was always so nice. He was smarter than people seemed to think. He was quiet though, and timid in the extreme. "Thank you Claude." I tried to smile. He forced one and nodded.

When someone came to the door I looked up to see Henry and his family. I quickly climbed up the ladder to my bed and sat back so he couldn't see me. I wanted Patricia there with me so badly.

My mother quickly came to sit with me. I didn't want to hear what she had to say. Love didn't work the way they seemed to think. I wanted to love who I was going to marry.

Alicia had been that lucky. She was an old friend that took a vow with a quiet brown haired girl nobody even seemed to notice until she pulled her out of hiding. She lives in the city now, she still sends letters.

"He's your fiancé now. He's here to give condolences."

"I don't even know him." I mumbled. I could feel tears stinging my eyes. Why couldn't I be strong like Pat?

I didn't want to marry a stranger. I wasn't her…why couldn't she see that?

"You'll get to know him soon. Go down there Valerie, at least be friendly." I huffed quietly and stood, following her back down. But I stood in a corner, away from him.

He glanced at me for a moment. Then he looked to my father. "Cesarie." He sounded kind…I'd only spoken to him about three times in my whole life. They were few and far apart. "Join us at the tavern. We should allow the women to grieve in their own way." A gentleman…nothing like Peter…but alike to Patricia.

No, no he wasn't. Pat wouldn't have left me alone if I was sad and lost. She'd stay with me and hold me and listen to me. But…considering we knew little of each other…he was acting in accordance. I thanked him silently for that.

When my mother came to my side…she whispered to me of how she wasn't in love with papa when she was first arranged to marry him. That she loved another man…something in her tone told me she was hiding something from me.

I wanted Pat…

I needed comfort.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: ****I will soon be re-writing my Twilight Saga fics. To better personalize Alice in better character. Bear with me. The more reviews I get...the faster I can get to finishing that up. I'm a little rusty at writing so let me know what you think!**

**Warning!: femslash, yuri...don't like it?** (Do I sound like I give a shit? No I do not.) **OOCness! Kinda AU cause I added a person :p**

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><p>The traditions our village has…sometimes I think they're disgusting. Looking down at my dead sister and making sure she looked pretty for her burial…it made my stomach churn.<p>

They were talking about how she'd loved Henry…she could have had him. If she'd actually died so she didn't have to live without him…it was a foolish choice. If she had just talked to me about it…I'd have been more than happy to step aside.

His mother…or that's who I assumed she was…was very eerie. She told me he always had his eye on me, that I was the pretty one. I felt insulted and hurt, and misunderstood all at once. She thought I was upset about this…I didn't know what I was but I certainly wasn't jealous in any rights.

Someone knocked at the door, mama answered it, and I heard soft mumbling through the open hole…mama opened the door and slid out quickly, but not before I caught sight of Pat and Peter on the other side. She met my gaze before the door shut. I wanted to run, fling the door open, and throw myself into her arms. But that wouldn't be proper…not now.

After a moment I saw them walking away. Peter still holding his candle but Patricia was empty handed. Mama came back in and set the small candle with the others. It made me feel better for some reason. Like maybe we still had a chance. Even though I wasn't allowed to see her (which I would fix) I was happy to know she was trying to get to me.

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><p>I was sewing, trying hard not to think too much, when I heard the mob. The others gathered around the door to see what was happening. I snuck out the back.<p>

What were they doing? I already knew the answer…what else would cause so much of a disturbance besides the wolf.

I had never been afraid of the wolf. When I was old enough to fully understand what was happening…I knew the wolf wasn't just something to scare kids. It was real and alive.

Pat was into her first year of her trade. I'd snuck out to meet her in the barn at midnight. We'd been silly enough (of course) to sneak out on a full moon. We'd heard it. It was eating the animal sacrifice. Patricia had held me during the whole thing. I held my ears like a child and buried my face into her chest as she held me tight with one arm and her ax in the other as we stayed hidden near piles of hay. It took about a year before I snuck out again (never on the full moon of course.)

I had never been afraid of the wolf because I was always so certain she'd always protect me, and even now I don't doubt that she would. But…there's a hesitation now that I'm asking myself that she would. She was honorable. If I was arranged to marry…she wouldn't come near me in that way.

I milled through the crowd until I spotted her, walking beside Peter, heading for the gate. I quickly ran to her side and grabbed her arm. She seemed surprised I was there. Peter simply glared.

"We don't have time." He snapped at his sister. She brushed him off and let me pull her aside.

"You're not seriously going with them are you?"

She nods. "I have to. I have to protect the village. It's my obligation."

I shake my head, grabbing the front of her shirt in fistfuls I pull her closer. "No…stay here. Please?" It was low and wrong to be so selfish…but I couldn't help it. "Please don't go."

"Valerie…I have to. I already gave my word."

"So break it."

She gave me an incurious look. It made me flinch. "Valerie, don't be like this. If I broke my word to these people then I'd break my promises to you. I don't care how my brother is, you I don't do things that way."

"Can you not be the bigger person for one night?" I was desperate. "I've lost my sister, I can't lose you too. Don't do this."

She smiled humorlessly. "I'm sorry. I just can't break a promise." Usually it was endearing…tonight it was frightening.

"Pat…_please_." I tried to bring her closer but she took my small hands into her work worn palms…I'd always found her warmth comforting, like when I'd seen Lucie dead. It was frightening to think that she may lose that warmth because of a greedy monster.

"I said no. And we can't do this anymore. You're getting married." I knew she'd be like this.

"I told you,"

"I know. But it's still official. In my world that's that."

I could feel the tears starting to sting again. This wasn't happening. Even if she didn't die…I was still losing her…dammit! "Pat…," I choked out a sob.

She pulled away, leaving me feeling colder than ever. "You didn't think this was going to last forever did you?" She mumbled.

I stared. "Don't say that."

"But it's true isn't it?" She didn't look me in the eye. I knew she was lying. She met up with Peter at the gate and he glanced back at me. I didn't return his look. I stared at Patricia, her shoulders were slumped and her hair looked oddly tame today…she was such a liar.

I wanted to call out to her…to scream at her…to be angry and upset and hurtful…But I couldn't. I could never be any of those things…I could never yell at her. I didn't have it in me to be that way with her.

When I turned to sullenly head home, Henry blocked my path. He tried to smile. "I um, I made you something." He took out a silver circlet. He was really sweet…and I felt guilty that I couldn't feel the same way. "Just in case."

I just stared, still numb from Patricia's stinging words.

"I was going to wait until our wedding." It would be his wedding…my wedding…or my life vows…I couldn't ever say them honestly. "You will be happy again." He seemed determined to be the source of it. "I swear it."

Yeah, and Pat gave me her word that she'd always be there. And yet there she was ready to run off to die and leave me even more alone than before.

I watched with the others as the men and Pat, gathered outside the gate. I met her stare. She seemed to sigh and looked away. Why did I seem to be the only one in a bad to worse situation?

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><p><em>'Be a good girl Valerie.'<em>

I wanted to do just that…but I can never help how I might act with Patricia. I didn't worry so much about papa, he was strong. I always thought he was the strongest man I ever knew. I used to tell him so every day.

Sometimes I still do.

I followed them to grandma's house. I didn't dare go farther than that. When I called to her, she looked shocked but pleased and welcomed me with open arms.

Feeling like I was five again, I quickly went to the source of comfort available. What's better than grandma's homemade stew? If nothing else could warm me up…it would always do the trick.

I was still upset about the fact that Lucie, my own sister, had kept a secret from me. When I mentioned it to grandmother she simply replied that everyone has secrets.

She took some sympathy on me. "My grandma used to tell me: "All troubles are,"

"Less with bread." I finished with her, taking the small chunk she handed me. I took a small bite before setting it aside. I wasn't very hungry now I thought about it. If Patricia knew I'd been neglecting my meals she'd have a fit.

I looked up when my shoulder was tapped gently. Grandma was holding a beautiful red cloak. "Well, try it on dear." I stood and let her help me put it on. Patricia would have liked it. She always said I looked beautiful in blue because it matched my eyes.

_'What pretty eyes you have.' _She'd say to me.

"I was making it for your wedding."

That brought my mood down a little…but I was still happy to get such a beautiful gift. I pulled up the hood and snuggled into its cotton warmth. "No, it's not my wedding." I didn't need to look up to see her curious look. "A wedding is something you get when you're in love. I feel sold."

I missed Pat.

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><p>They came back with a wolf head on a stick…it was disgusting. I went into the pub to find Patricia. I spotted Peter leaning against the banister upstairs. He shot a glance across the room then looked back at me so quickly I wasn't even sure he'd done it at all.<p>

But when I looked up to the other side, I saw Pat frown when she saw me look at her. She just nodded…that's what we'd been reduced to? A nod? Did I mean so little?

Everyone looked around when we heard the squeak and clatter of a loud cart and the small chimes of the funeral bell. I swallowed when I realized it was Henry's father. His wife looked me right in the eye with a sharp glare, like I was the one who killed him.

When the cart passed, I looked once more at Pat before leaving quickly to go see Henry. He was throwing himself into his work, like any man would do. Why was it so hard for men to cry?

When I called to him, he paused to show he was listening.

"He was brave, to go in like that. It took courage."

He nodded. There was a long pause before he spoke. "I always…I wanted to be like him." He choked. "To be that brave." He started hammering down the metal again. "But when the wolf attacked…I just hid…I didn't help him. I let my father die."

"Sometimes it's okay Henry. If you had shown yourself you might not have made it out alive either."

"I know! I know and I should be thankful for that…but I hate myself and I feel like a gutless coward!" He threw the metal he was working on into the fire. I flinched at his tone and aggressiveness.

"Please…please just go. I don't want you to see me like this."

So I left, as quickly and as quietly as I'd entered.

* * *

><p>I passed by the church window. It was open to let people give their final wishes to the dead. I saw mom…she was crying…over someone she shouldn't have even known all that well. And several things clicked.<p>

She left quickly, like she thought if she walked fast enough I'd forget. No…she wasn't getting off that easy. I needed someone to share my pain with.

_'Be a good girl Valerie.'_

I still heard Patricia's soft voice whispering those words to me…but she broke her promise to stay at my side…so I'm breaking mine.

"It was him wasn't it? That one you loved before you married papa." She didn't need to answer. Everything about my sister clicked. She couldn't have married Henry…there was no way. "Lucie was a year older than me, she could have married him."

She was still swiping tears from her face.

"Why'd you push the fact that I should?"

She scoffed a humorless laugh with a sad smile. "You should know the answer to that now."

"Say it…," the bitter tone in my voice was…scary. She looked at me, surprised. "Say it with your own mouth…tell me why."

Finally she sighs. "Lucie was Henry's half-sister." She stated quietly.

I chewed my lip, thinking of something to say that wasn't totally cruel. So Adrian was my sisters father…she wasn't even my full blooded sister…I glanced towards papa…he couldn't have known.

"He doesn't know. Promise me you won't tell him."

I shot a glare at her. "You're a horrible person." I hissed. "You tell me, 'Be a good girl Valerie, do good things.'" I mock her in a happy overly sweet tone…and it feels good to see her hurt face. "Look at you…making my father work even harder to support a child that wasn't even his…"

"Valerie,"

I stepped back when she reached for me. "Don't. There's nothing you can say that makes what you did okay. You know…I knew you could be hurtful…but I never thought you'd do something like this. I never thought you could be so cruel."

She was crying again. I didn't care.

"'He gave me two beautiful daughters.'" I mocked. "How good did that lie feel?" I left her there; I needed to talk to Patricia…somebody.

* * *

><p>I found Pat behind the woodcutters shop. She was dutifully chopping large chunks of wood so people could stay warm for the rest of the winter. "Patricia." I mumbled.<p>

She jumped and looked around quickly. Had I not been a walking ball of nerves I would have laughed. "Are you okay?" She set down her ax and stepped closer. "What's wrong?"

I sniffled and shrugged. I had no idea where to start with what was bothering me.

"Here," She pulls me over and clears off the stump she'd been working on. "Sit. Do you want something to drink?" She knelt in front of me, taking my hand. I smiled, it was the first time since Lucie died that I meant it. I shook my head. "Anything to eat?" I shook my head again.

I missed this…how caring she could be. Just like always…I melted.

"What's the matter then?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "My…my mom…I just found out Lucie was…,"

"Lucie was what?"

I loved Lucie with all my heart. We took care of each other. But thinking about it now…we really looked nothing alike…had nothing really in common. "She was my half-sister." I squeaked.

Patricia looked stunned for a moment. But then she shook her head and looked up at me with clear brown eyes. "So you father…,"

I shook my head.

"Then who was?"

"Henry's dad."

Pat blinked. "That's…I didn't think your mother could do something like that."

I laughed, rolling my eyes. I was happy someone agreed. I finally met her eyes and we lapsed into silence. Telling someone something you're supposed to keep a secret feels so much better than keeping it in. Pat was my secret keeper. I could tell her anything…she'd never repeat a word of it.

Another thing to add to the large list of things I love about her.

I brushed her hair away from her face, it was messy again…I liked it better that way. Being honest with myself, I have to say I missed that wild scent.

She eyed me over. "That cloak…,"

"My grandmother made it for me."

She smiled, wide and crooked, her pearly teeth flashing. "It makes your eyes prettier; I never did like all that blue."

I pouted.

"Not that it didn't make you beautiful, you always are. The blue made your hair stand out." Patricia took my face in her hands; the pads of the tips of her fingers were getting calloused. But her hands were still _so_ warm.

"Pat…," I found my fingers on the collar of her double layered shirt.

She immediately pulls away. "Vale…we can't…and I know you understand so just…please don't make this harder for either of us." I shake my head quickly…not again.

"Pat please, I don't want him…I don't want money…just…_please_."

She stands, now holding my hands. "I'm sorry." And I knew she meant it in every way possible. "But it couldn't last forever. We both knew that."

I didn't. I wanted to be with her all the time all day till we died…to hell if forever wasn't long enough.

But I just nodded, shoulders slumping.

Suddenly horns were sounding and shouting was heard. I looked up at Pat, she was looking towards the gap between buildings I'd come through. "That'll be Father Solomon." She turned to me and pulled gently on my hands, making me stand without thinking.

It was still insane how she could do that. I looked up at her. "I heard he's vicious." I'd passed the tavern and heard whispers of how he was…even my papa seemed nervous.

"I'm not going to let him get near you."

She's never led me wrong…I'd always trust her with my life. No matter what went wrong…like getting married to a man I hardly knew.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: ****I will soon be re-writing my Twilight Saga fics. To better personalize Alice in better character. Bear with me. The more reviews I get...the faster I can get to finishing that up. I'm a little rusty at writing so let me know what you think!**

**Warning!: femslash, yuri...don't like it?** (Do I sound like I give a shit? No I do not.) **OOCness! Kinda AU cause I added a person :p**

**Disclaim: I forgot to put this up! I don't own Red Riding Hood, but wouldn't it be so cool if I did?**

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><p><em>'Be good Valerie.'<em>

It kept ringing over and over in my head as I followed behind Pat. And I knew I had to apologize to my mother. I didn't want to…and I shouldn't have had to…but I needed to. She must feel bad enough.

Or in some cold part of myself I hoped she did.

Pat stood in front of me, and without looking I could feel my mother at my side. She needed closure…she should have just been honest with papa from the start. But she hadn't been…and now…she's here.

I spot Peter make his way to his sister, he glances at me before looking at Pat. He whispers something and her head turns just so, I hear her say something back. I wish I had better hearing.

I look at my mother as the carriage rolls into the village square. "I'm sorry." I mumble. She nods slowly. Then she shakes her head and smiles sadly.

"It's understandable. You don't have to say sorry…I should." And that's all I get…she can't say she's really sorry even though she's hurting from obvious guilt. She probably feels like she can't apologize fully because she hasn't paid back her years of lying.

At least…I hope that's how she thinks.

I stare at the horses…they're unlike ours. These are big and strong and daunting. Like they could crush me at any moment if so inclined. It was scary.

Patricia shifts, her feet shuffle...mixing the still falling snow.

The carriage stops in a half circle, guarded by large soldiers with large swords…I could face down wild fox and cubs…but I was shivering in fear from just the sight of these people.

I feel someone move behind us, I look over my shoulder to see papa hovering just behind us, worry in his eyes. He stands more towards me, protective.

Turning back, Peter is talking again, pointing to the large metal elephant, a soldier is seated on top with a javelin. Pat turns her head again and I meet her eyes for a moment.

_'I'm not going to let him get near you.'_

I smile just a little, and I see the corner of her mouth turn up as she looks away again.

But then my attention is called back to what's happening. I stare at the carriage door which has a large cross bolted onto it. When the soldiers pull off their helmets, I'm not surprised at their skin color…we get traders that come through so often with dark skin, what scares me is the sharp glare they're shooting at everyone.

And I don't know if I should cower back to my father for comfort and press myself into Patricia's back for solitude. I'm torn…so I stay put.

They open the carriage and a set of three steps are rolled out. "Presenting his eminence; Father Solomon."

A man steps out slowly and carefully. He's about papa's height. His hair is neatly cut and combed and so is his beard…his clothes are made of a deep velvet, a sash around his waist and a large cross hanging from a string around his neck. But his eyes made him seem unwelcoming…cold and hard…sad and angry…he's seen too much to ever be at peace anywhere.

He steps down and the only one to clap is the Father of our own small church.

"Papa!"

"Father!"

Two girls scramble out after him, with none of the grace their father has. He whispers to them and I have no idea what words of comfort he's offering, but the tone sounds warm and sweet, but it's also hard…like poisoned whiskey.

They seem to feel better, and he sends them back to the carriage, an old nanny peers out, opening a hand to the girls. They disappear inside and the door closes…they'll probably be taken to the next town or to the city.

I can feel my legs itching with an urge to go to Pat, she'd wrap me up in a tight bear hug and never let me go, or least…not until Henry came along.

But true to her word, as soon as the Father glanced around and his eyes landed on me, she leaned over and hid me from view.

Father Auguste took Father Solomon's hand and kissed his ring. The visiting priest reacted as if such a thing happened all the time.

"You've arrived just in time for our festival." I looked around, I was too short to see over Peter and Patricia's shoulders, all I could see was the severed wolf head spiked on the wooden spear…eyes rolling up and maw open.

Showing that kind of thing in front of children was…grotesque. "The werewolf, as you can see, has been slain!" Whoever was talking raised the head and dug it down into the ground where it stood.

I could see it perfectly between Peter and Pat's shoulders. It was turned towards me…like it was glaring. I shifted uncomfortably. Pat moves and I can't see it anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if she can read my mind, it wouldn't surprise me.

Father Solomon stares at the head for a moment before looking around. "That is not the head of a werewolf."

"No disrespect," they say that…but funny how you can always hear that 'you're wrong' tone when they say it. "We've lived with and in fear of this monster for just about two generations. We know what we're dealing with."

Yes because every day a person hears of a werewolf. No…I knew better than to believe that head was the werewolf…something about it just wasn't right. It was too easy to be right.

"No disrespect," Father Solomon counters a straight face but a smug tone. "But you have no idea what you're dealing with. Have you ever seen it before the night you went to kill it? Really seen it?" He smirked and pointed…who was he talking to? "I was like you once you know."

He tells us a story…about his wife, his children, his life…what he'd done and what he'd seen. How the werewolf he dealt with ripped his best friend in half on a drunken night they went searching for it. How he was lucky enough to get a strike with his ax.

"I hacked…and hacked at it with my ax." He looks around; I look up at he meets my gaze for just a moment before Patricia keeps me safe from view again. "And suddenly it was gone. I was lucky enough to get off one of its front paws." He explains.

His story continues, his voice sounds tired and sad but full of vigor, trying to convey how serious this was. He told us about how he took the paw as a trophy…a souvenir. He tells us about he goes home to find his wife; she has a bloody rag around her wrist…

The story made me shiver.

He finishes telling us about how he looks at what he thought was a paw…only to find…he takes a box and opens it.

"The paw was gone…," he holds it out and shows it around. "In its place was this." I peer around Pat's shoulder to see a severed hand of a woman, a ring still dully glittering around the ring finger of the cold dead flesh.

I flinch and stand back; my mother holds my hand and squeezes it comfortingly.

Father Solomon tells us that he had to lie to his little girls about their mother. What would they think of him or of themselves if he'd told them the truth? I could see the reason to lie behind this story. "When a werewolf dies it returns to its human shape." He moved back into my line of sight, looking up at the wolf head.

"What you have here is just a very common gray wolf."

I'm scared, I had never felt this kind of fear…with Patricia always around I never had to be afraid of anything. She was like a hero…a knight. What made me so afraid is wondering if she would still be now…even after I was married.

We're moved into the town hall…he continues telling us what we need to know. It only makes me more afraid.

He shows us a working fixture of the moon, tells us that the red moon (which only happens once every thirteen years) is the only time when werewolves can infect you with their bite. I don't hear much more than those…just pieces.

"Until the blood moon wanes…you will not be safe."

"We're safe now. I killed the wolf." I noticed whoever was talking didn't say we anymore…it was simply I. But he was being silly and stubborn. Hadn't he heard Father Solomon say that the werewolf returns to its human shape when dead?

Father Solomon had no reason to lie, he was trying to help, and old villagers to hard of head in their ways were making it difficult.

"The wolf has tricked you," he spoke firmly when they talked about going to the monster's lair. "It takes human shape…why hide outside the village where it can be easily noticed walking about in human skin…," he looks around. "When it's so much easier to blend in with all of you?"

That made me even more afraid, I glance around, suddenly feeling like I'm in a room full of intruders and secret keepers and liars. A room of strangers.

"This killer could be anyone." Father Solomon walks around the small space. "You neighbor…the shop keeper down your street…your best friend."

I seek out Patricia; we were separated when we came inside. She's already watching me, calmly and evenly…she's not my best friend…I've never loved anything more in my life than her. And to see her watching me with nothing but care and adoration is more than enough to put me at ease.

But…I see it and it's only for a second in such a short amount of time I think I imagine it…a flash of possessiveness and want, her eyes clouding over. But as soon as I thought I saw it…it was gone. Leaving her warm brown gaze trying to calm me. I breathe deep and slow and look around again.

My feet shuffle and the floor boards creak, making me feel like everyone is watching me again. I catch Peter watching me. I look away quickly.

Suddenly the Father is ordering all the gates and opening to the village shut and watched by several soldiers. I'm torn between relief and terror.

I lead the way back home after we go. I catch Patricia watching me as I turn away, and just for a second she smiles.

* * *

><p>A celebration…I didn't feel much like celebrating. I felt like crying…I had since the first time Patricia rejected me so I could keep myself for my soon to husband.<p>

But I can't. I have to be strong.

'Be good Valerie.'

Good girls don't cry for selfish things like lost love. Good girls aren't selfish…but I am…but I'm not supposed to be.

But I can't help it. I wish just once Pat would be selfish, that she'd let me be that way. I wish.

The only thing she's ever been selfish about was me, my first kiss…first crush…first fight…she's always been selfish and it's always been her about me. But this…she thinks she's doing the best thing for me, and I want it to feel good.

But it just hurts.

Everyone is wearing masks, or drinking, or dancing, or shouting. I'm just sitting and watching the others. Then I see her, she wandering around with Peter who looks like he's drinking.

Patricia's hair is down; I can see her through the flames. But still it's not neat. It's messy and shiny…like she's just washed it ran a towel over her head. It's just above her shoulders and she's looking around. There's a part of me that hopes she's looking for me…and a part of me that knows she is.

She thinks I don't know, but ever since we've known each other she's never had eyes for anyone else. And I don't want her to.

It's so selfish, but I can never help it with her.

I notice she's not in her work clothes. She's a bright blue shirt with fresh pants and shiny black boots. I can feel my heart start to pound against my ribcage. I want to go to her, to talk about something…anything.

Like how I wish my life would go back to normal.

I pretend to smile as my friends come and take my hands to try and pull me into the festivities, but my heart and mind are in two different places but I'm trying to be happy and here.

Looking around again, my papa is passed out on the cold snowy ground, vomit near his face. He's being made fun of by someone dressed as the wolf. I don't think…and before I know my feet are moving and I'm picking up a stick and slamming it over their tailbone. They jump up and step away, glaring at me. "Grow up." I hiss at him before helping my papa.

"Papa…" I help him stand, he's still a little drunk and he's rambling, I call him again and he looks at me, sad and lost and scared.

"…Valerie," He smiles only a little, the village seems full of half smiles lately. "You're a good girl." He taps a finger gently to my cheek. "You're my good girl." It makes me feel guilty that I've been so selfish. But the way he says 'I'm sorry', makes it sound like he's been very selfish too. But he couldn't be...he breaks his back twice over for his family…even a child that was never his.

"Just go home now papa, you're drunk." I didn't want him to get hurt anymore, but I had to admit I didn't want to feel guilty anymore either. "Be careful."

He snuffles a laugh as he trudges away, mumbling about how I sound like his mother.

* * *

><p>I feel lost as I stand watching everyone have the night of their lives.<p>

"Typical Peter," I look around quickly, knowing Pat will be with him. "Look at him…," I drown her out. Peter was clearly now drunk, trying to get Rose to dance with Pat who also seemed slightly drunk.

Rose was more than happy to try and move in on Patricia, but even drunk she pushed the girl away, although she was laughing quite a bit.

_'Be a good girl Valerie.'_

But I couldn't help it, anger and jealous and possessiveness rose in my heart and made me almost choke as I tried to talk. I can't help it, and before I know it I'm storming over and Pat sees me, she says something to Peter and walks away quickly.

But I'm just as quick to follow. Just once I want to be selfish and just think of me and what I want, what I know she wants. I want something that's just for me and that no one can take away.

However unfaithful that makes me…I'm tired of caring.

"Pat,"

"Don't." She calls over her shoulder, I barely hear her. Suddenly Henry is there, shoving Patricia's shoulder. I stop and watch. "What is it?" She's calm when she talks.

Something brushes my shoulder and I see Peter squeeze by and stand beside Pat.

"You both abandoned us!" Henry shouts and this time he shoves Peter who I know is glaring hard at him. "My father is dead," he was clearly drunk. I circled around so I could see the siblings clearly. "He said we should stay in a group, I said we shout stay in a group…and you both took the others and left us!"

"You should calm down." Patricia sighs; she glances at me, trying to make me understand something.

"No! My father is dead! Because of you two!" Henry snaps, glaring at each in turn.

I step forward. "Henry, please don't do this." He was making an ass of himself; I was trying to save him face. He shoves me back and Patricia pushes him away as soon as his hand touches me.

Patricia is the most peaceful person I know, I've only seen her get into a few fights in my life. But this isn't a fight, even when Henry punches her and Peter lurches forward. Pat has a hold of Henry's collar and has a small dagger to his throat.

"That woman is going to be your wife, show her some respect." She hisses. He looks terrified.

I don't want her to get into trouble for me. "Patricia." I try and keep my voice steady, but it wavers and breaks at the end.

She looks at me, her eyes are hard for a moment before they soften and she lets him go.

Henry looks around. Peter is glaring at him. "Don't ever let me catch you hitting a woman." He warns, then he sighs and follows his sister. For all his flaws he does have some standards.

I follow them, Peter is whispering quickly to his sister, she waves her hand and I see his shoulders slump and he walks away shaking his head.

I shouldn't but I follow her. I want to be selfish. I want Pat to want me to be selfish.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** **2 chapters in one night (morning) I am on a roll! Woo! I'm thinking of upping the rating to M!**

**Warning!: femslash, yuri...don't like it?** (Do I sound like I give a shit? No I do not.) **OOCness! Kinda AU cause I added a person :p**

**Disclaim: I forgot to put this up! I don't own Red Riding Hood, but wouldn't it be so cool if I did?**

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><p><em>'Be good Vale…just be good.'<em>

I follow her, calling her and she keeps telling me to go. "Patricia, please just listen."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm not good enough for you Vale, we both know that."

"You think I care about that?" We're in the stables now she stops for a second.

"I do. You deserve nice things, a good life." She mumbles, and she's walking again…I'm desperate so I say the one thing she's stopped me from saying for years now.

"What do I have to say to get through to you that that doesn't matter, his money…whatever he can give me…I don't want it." I take a deep breath. "I love you…I know you know it and I know you love me too Patricia."

She turns and looks at me. There's something dark in her eyes I've never seen before.

"Vale,"

"Just say it. You want to…why don't you?"

She squeezes her eyes shut as I move closer. "You're getting married."

"I'll get out of it. I just want you. I love you."

Her breath catches. My hands are slithering up her arms, fingers searching. I repeat it again and again and again…and again.

Her eyes open, and all I can do is stare, they're darker than I've ever seen them and they're full of love and want and sadness…and it almost breaks my heart. But somewhere inside I'm singing with joy, because she wants to be selfish just this once. Just one time in her life. Just like me.

"I can't give you things like this Vale." She takes my wrist with the silver circlet. "I want to but I can't, I'll never make enough. You deserve these kinds of things." She holds it tight and her brow furrows, she wants me to walk away because we both know if I don't…we'll have people to apologize to. But no regrets at least.

"I'd rather be poor and happy than have everything I want and be miserable. I don't care if we live in the woods…as long as it's with you."

Her eyes are shiny…and my eyes sting. We're both trying not to cry…it's not working. "Don't make me do this." She whispers. One last chance.

"But you want this…I know you do." There isn't a single gap between us. "We both do."

"I don't want you to ruin your future for me."

"So I'll do it for both of us then." I step back and take her hand, pulling her into the hay stacks in the stables.

She's done fighting, she can't anymore…I won't let her.

"Valerie…," she whispers, I stare up at her…my fingers slide into her wild mane of dark hair, her powerful arms are around my waist. This is one of the reasons I love that she's taller than me, how easy it is for her to lift me up.

"I don't care what you say…and I don't think you do either anymore." I smile. This is the first time since I found out I was engaged…the first time since Lucy died that I've felt so good. And I feel guilty that I don't feel bad about that.

She looks me in the eye…and I melt. Her hands grip my thighs and she lifts me up to her waist as easy as she breathes in and out. I lock my legs around her and our lips are together, tongues searching familiar ground.

We pull apart for air; I feel the heat in my face as she looks at me with black eyes. She leans in and nuzzles my throat, I groan as she peppers kisses along my jaw. "You have no idea what you do to me." It almost sounds like she's in pain, but I smirk and pull her in for another kiss as she lays us down on the soft hay, it's almost romantic by the fire like this.

We pull apart again.

And it's like fire when she touches me; her hands are curling up and around my sides, fingers brushing my breast through cloth. I don't even think I sound like myself as I groan. I can hear her smirk as she kisses my ear and pulls back to look at me; it's almost a wolfish grin.

I bite my lip as she runs her hands over my legs and we're pulled tighter against each other. Then she stops and just watches me, I sigh when her fingers gently touch my face.

"God, I love you so much." She whispers. "I love you so much it hurts." My heart beat impossibly faster now that she's said it. My fingers are in her hair again, which is now even messier, and I pull her in for another kiss with all the passion I have in me. I kiss her so hard it would have hurt if it didn't feel so damn good.

I pull back moaning and she presses her hips down into mine. It's never felt so good to be so selfish. And I've never loved it more. "Again." I'm panting for breath as I give her a series of small short kisses, but still just as passionate.

She rolls her hips again and it feels even better. This…I'd be giving this up if I married anyone else.

There's a sound like someone walking nearby…it's a creak of wood. I look…there's nothing. I'm too caught up in Patricia to care. I bite my lip again as she nips and kisses my neck. I turn back to her and her lips are on mine again.

Every gasp for air is a whisper of sweet words and soft mumbles of 'I love you'. My heart could burst I'm so happy.

Patricia sits back, my legs still half wrapped around her waist. She's staring at me with so many sweet and dangerous emotions it's almost too much…almost. She smiles. "What pretty eyes." She whispers.

I grin, my hands rest on her waist. She brushes her hair away from her face. For a second I wonder if she's rethinking all of this. "You don't want me?" I mumble, feeling very self-conscious suddenly.

"I'm never going to want anything more." Her hands are sliding up my sides again and all my fears are gone. "Not ever."

I let her start to untie my dress, she's careful and gentle and sweet. She kisses me again as she pulls down the rest of the dress; I shiver from the sudden cold. But then her hand is on my breast and it's almost to hot…almost.

It feels too good to be wrong or even selfish. God does it feel good. "Valerie," she groans, her hips roll into mine again and I gasp.

"Please," I don't care where we are, if our first time is in this hay stack…so be it. As long as it's her.

"Patricia, that you? Give us a hand." They can't see me, that's a relief.

She nods to them and looks back at me; she fixes my dress quickly so I'm decent and stands, pulling my hands from under her shirt. She keeps me out of sight as she pushes me towards the back entrance. I pull her back to me and give her one last kiss. "Only you." I whisper.

She smiles sweetly but goofily and I'm melting all over again. "I know." She kisses me chastely and mumbles an 'I love you' once more before going to help the ones that very rudely interrupted us.

I work hard to breathe regularly again so my face won't seem so red.

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><p>I'm having fun finally, making a show of walking over hot coals. They really aren't that hot. I twirl across them, catching a glimpse of a grinning Pat on the second floor of the stables.<p>

But then she's gone and I'm talking to Roxanne, she asks where I've been to…I can't help my girlish giggle when I think about it. My body is still thrumming with energy from those few amazing minutes that felt like hours with Patricia.

I hear something…a snarl…I look around…there's a dark shadow watching…my breath hitches and the hairs on the back of my neck rise. No…not now…

It bursts into the village square…screams and shouts of horror are pounding in my ears…my only thoughts are about where my mother is and if Pat is safe.

The beast kills the man that gloated about killing it…the balding man…he was dead in an instant, neck snapped.

"Pat…," I look around as I'm pulled back by my red cloak. "Where are you?" I whisper to myself, fighting the urge to run and look for her…the wolf may kill me.

Everything is out of focus for what feels like to long, I'm on the second story of some building hiding in the shadows with Roxanne as we watch the soldiers try and take care of the wolf…it's to strong. I stared open mouthed as it pulled and flung a soldier clean over its head.

Father Solomon tries to get the upper hand, but just seeing the wolf stop and watch him…it was smart. Just before it leapt on the horse its eyes narrowed…it was too smart for us.

Father Solomon is on the ground…his horse is dead and the village square that once held a great festival was empty and burning.

The wolf is gone.

"Come on…come on." I take Roxanne's hand and lead her down the steps quickly and quietly. I pulled her around the back…I wanted to get home but I knew she wanted to find her brother.

There's a growl…and when we turn the wolf is there, I try not to scream aloud. But my heart is racing and I wish I could shout for Patricia to come save me. But I can't…so I just stare and shake in fear.

_'Running is useless.'_ It's talking…low and hissing like a growling snake.

"Oh…you…God…," I stumble over my words. "You can talk…how?" I can feel Roxanne's gaze on me, the wolf seems smug.

_'So you understand. Good.'_ Like it's proud_. 'That you can understand is all that matters Valerie.'_ It knows my name…how?

I remember Father Solomon's words…your neighbor, your best friend…even your wife.

"How do you know my name?"

Roxanne's terrified whisper is in my ear, the werewolf barks at her and she screams, shrinking away from me. It looks back at me evenly.

Its eyes change…from golden honey to a deep rich brown…human eyes. Someone in the village…

Why live in a place it could be easily noticed in human skin when it's so much easier to blend in with all of you?

_'I know you Valerie, your greatest wish…to leave this place…this village. To never look back.'_ It growled.

How…who was it?

_'Let me take you away. We are the same you and I.'_

"No." I say it more for myself than him. "I'm nothing like you."

_'You say that...,"_

"Because it's true. I'm a good girl."

_'Good girls aren't as selfish as you.'_

It hurt to hear someone say it…who was this? The need to know was driving me insane. Before I can ask again…there's another snarl…I look…another wolf. Its fur is dark and it's just about the same size.

'_Leave it alone._' It hisses. This voice is almost the same, but it speaks almost as if it's drowning.

_'This is not your business.'_

The other wolf growls. _'It is. She won't go with you. Leave her be.'_

'She will come with me or the streets themselves will bleed.'

"Father Solomon will stop you." I whisper. I wish I could have sounded more confident than I felt.

The wolf in front of me barks as if laughing. _'That priest will die like the rest. I am coming back for you before the blood moon wanes.'_

_'Stop!'_ The second wolf is on the first snapping with its teeth, driving it back.

_'…For now.'_ It leaps onto a rooftop and it's gone. The second one pauses before following the example set, in the opposite direction.

Before heading towards my house I tell Father Solomon there isn't just one in the village but two, he doesn't seem surprised as he sends us on our way.

* * *

><p>"You talked to them…the wolves." Roxanne speaks under her breath as we pass a guard.<p>

"It talked to us." I insist, hoping I'm right.

She shakes her head. "It just growled."

I try not to cry. "They'll call me a witch, you can't tell." I gasp.

"Of course not." She answers quickly, and I trusted her. I was too tired to think clearly anymore…all I wanted was sleep and to know if Patricia was okay.

"Go to the church." A soldier steps in front of us. "They cannot come onto holy ground, you're safest there." He points to his left, I turn and Roxanne follows.

"What about our families?" I ask.

"The village will be searched; nobody leaves the church till sunrise." Father Solomon called. At least he knew what he was doing. I prayed Patricia was okay.

* * *

><p>In the morning we took count of the dead and rounded up the bodies. It was a bitter morning glory to know you had lived through last night's hell.<p>

And just when I was so happy…finally…this happens.

We listen to Father Solomon as he tells us specific things we should look for. I look across the square to see Patricia, she's standing beside Peter…she looks tired but fine. She meets my gaze and smiles halfheartedly, I wanted to run across the square and jump into her arms…but I didn't.

He tells us our homes are going to be searched and that we have nothing to fear if we had nothing to hide. All I had to hide was my selfishness.

There was a choked sigh and everyone looked around…A soldier was still alive…he'd been bitten…

"Under the blood moon…a man bitten is a man cursed." Father Solomon didn't look pleased with what he had to do as he took his blessed silver blade.

"…My brother…,"

"We must protect the people." Father Solomon eased.

I look away as he stabs the bitten soldier in the throat. Patricia is there. "Are you okay?" She whispers, suddenly my body is thrumming with energy again. I nod. "Someone told me you saw the wolf…," I nod again. She seems frustrated. "I should have been there." She frowns.

"You didn't know…don't blame yourself." I take her hand, she squeezes it. "Only a little longer…and this will all be over." She soothes my worries, but only for a moment as I remember the eyes of the wolf, I look around and it just looks as if everyone but me has brown eyes…were blue so rare?

I step back, not wanting comfort, but feeling guilty that I couldn't even trust the one I loved so much…the one who just last night…no…I couldn't think about it.

"Vale?" She looks hurt that I pulled away.

"I have to go home." I answer quickly, she looks confused but nods, letting me go.

* * *

><p><em>'Be good Valerie.'<em>

Why was it so hard to follow a few simple directions…not even a few…just one?

I open the slot in the door when I hear a knock, its Patricia, she looks worried and it almost breaks my heart.

"Valerie, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes…no…I don't know." I try again not to cry.

"Open the door."

"I can't." I mumble. _'I'm not supposed to trust you.'_ I think.

She looks heartbroken now. "Vale…it's me…come on. We need to go. I have to get you out of here."

"Why?" Days ago I had wanted nothing more.

"It isn't safe with the wolf here." But there are two… "I have to keep you safe."

I turn and press my back into the hard wood; I take a deep breath as I listen to her.

"Come with me. I'll take you away." She whispers, and her voice is full of promises I know she'll try her best to keep…and I fight the urge to pull open the door and throw myself at her.

"I-I can't Pat."

She's quiet. "Why not?" She's never been harsh or rude or rough with me, another thing on the long list. "Vale…you…you think it's me." It's not a question.

"I don't mean to…I just,"

"No, I understand." She cuts me off. "I do."

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." She whispers, she's hurt…she's heart broken. "Last night," oh no… "It wasn't a lie…everything I said was true. I just want you to know that."

"I know."

The door shifts, she stepped back. "I love you Valerie." And when I open the door, my eyes blurry from the tears, ready to just say to hell with it…Pat was gone. I look out to see her running down a street to her own house.

I duck back inside, I have to learn to keep breathing in situations like this.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:**** I'm thinking of upping the rating to M!**

**Warning!: femslash, yuri...don't like it?** (Do I sound like I give a shit? No I do not.) **OOCness! Kinda AU cause I added a person :p**

**Disclaim: I forgot to put this up! I don't own Red Riding Hood, but wouldn't it be so cool if I did?**

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><p>I've finally accepted that no matter what I do…I'll never be the good girl people expect me to be. I just can't be. But that's not wrong; everybody is selfish sometimes…I'm just not allowed to be.<p>

But I want to…so badly it almost kills me.

I wanted to be selfish and run after Patricia…but I didn't. And when I close the door with a heavy heart and turn…I almost feel bad about feeling selfish.

Because there's something moving, and for a split second I think the wolf is back, but then I remember it's daytime.

And it's just grandmother holding a knit fur blanket. She smiles at me. She lays it over my mother, who looks pale and sick…if it weren't for the sweat I see in the candlelight I would have almost seen Lucie laying there. Almost.

"Mother…," I can't help my slip up as I step forward, the wood under my feet groans as I walk. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Oh yes. She'll be fine, it's not a bite." Grandmother soothed, pulling a cloth away from my mother's face. I try not to gasp in shock.

There are deep scratches along her face and running down her throat. Not so deep that skin is missing in chunks…but she'll have those scars forever.

Grandmother gives mother a drink of something telling her she'll sleep better. Grandmother stands beside me, turning to look at me. I meet her gaze…her eyes are a deep rich brown. I feel like I only noticed now.

I feel guilty but suspicious; I'm not supposed to trust anyone…not anyone. And it hurts and makes me feel alone.

I step away, grandmother tells mother to sleep longer so she'll get better faster. Then she comes to me, and I still feel wary…

She looks at me, full of grandmother worry only grandmothers can have. "Is something bothering you dear?"

I didn't want to say. "The wolf…talked to me." I didn't want to say. She looks surprised but calm.

"You understood?"

I nod. I understood them both very clearly. I walk around the fire, my eyes watching her carefully, I feel like a wolf very suddenly. Watching the prey. She's walking with me…we're even with each other.

"Have you told anyone?"

"Just Roxanne, she swore she wouldn't tell anyone else."

She seems to think for a moment and I stop pacing around the fire, she stops close to my side. "It chose not to kill you for a reason." She makes a face, like she's confused. "But why I wonder?"

I shake my head. "I don't understand that either grandmother." She still thinks there's just one, but no, there's two out there…two people that live with us that could be anyone. "I guess it wants me alive…but I don't know why."

I turn to the window; I can feel her following me. When I start to pull open the shutters, one is grabbed from me and is forced open so quickly it makes me jump.

Grandmother hugs me, and I let her, I need comfort. But it's short as mother calls out in what could be sleep. "Get me another bandage." As odd and strange as it is…it's comforting. She doesn't ask questions or shout accusations…she won't tell a soul…I feel better.

I wring out the wet cloth…the water is dirty. I call to grandmother, telling her I'll be back with fresh water, she nods and keeps humming something to mother.

* * *

><p>My red cloak is warm in the cold, even under the numb warmth of the sun. I just want to sleep…but I can't…not yet.<p>

I ask Roxanne is her brother has come home, her mother tells me he hasn't been seen as they rush by. It sounds like she's upset with me…but nobody can trust anybody even if I want to trust someone.

Avoiding the icy water carefully, I push the wooden bucket down and watch as it floods. Shouting makes me look up; people are being rushed into their houses, thing thrown out onto the street.

How…embarrassing.

I jump when I hear footsteps rush towards me then stop. Its Henry…he seems more like himself now but hurt. "I saw you…the way you were with Patricia." He's blunt when he says it and I feel a little guilty…but then I don't because in all my life…that moment was the happiest.

I'm not sure what to say to that, he saw us…saw me…emotionally open and willing to break every promise I was forced to make to him. But thinking of Pat…thinking maybe she'd left for good…I felt like a raw nerve.

"You don't want me…like that, I get it." I try not to blush as I remember her hands on me…all over me. He looks tired and worn down. "I wish you had just talked to me about it." It wouldn't have worked…my mother would have found a way to make it happen. "I'm not so cruel as to force you into something I know you'll never want." For a moment I think he may cry…did he want me to be his wife so badly?

Again I feel guilty that I don't want him the way he wants me…but then I see Patricia's grin and her wild hair…and I remember her wild scent, I don't actually feel so bad.

"I'm sorry Henry…I wish I felt the same way you do…but I can't."

He nods stiffly. "I understand. I'll call of the engagement…it doesn't seem a good time to be thinking about wedding anyway does it?" He tries to laugh, but it's forced and uncomfortable…but I humor him and smile anyway.

I move to take off the circlet but he stops me. "It's silver…you may need it. Just think of it as a gift now." He smiles sadly. I nod a silent thank you. "I just want you to be happy." He mumbles, and then he's walking away with slumped shoulders and his head down.

I almost feel guilty again.

When there's a shout that they've found someone, I'm running…just feet behind Roxanne…we both know who it is.

Claude has never been right in the head…slower to understand and easily frightened…Father Solomon seemed to think he was possessed. But even though everyone knew better…nobody but Roxanne tried to correct him. And myself…but the Father won't listen.

"He hasn't done anything! He's always been this way!" I shout. "He's just afraid, let him calm down."

Father Solomon holds up a card. "This is proof that he studies the Black Arts!" He turned away from me.

"That was a card he got from Gypsies! They were passing through the village. They taught him a trick!" I defend him…but still…the Father does not listen. He probably doesn't want to be proven wrong in front of the masses…but he is. He's so wrong. Claude could never harm a fly.

But he screams and shouts in fear as the soldiers grab him and force him down, I back out with the others as he's pushed forward. Father Solomon leads and I follow a few steps…there's nothing anyone can say to change his mind.

Claude is pulled over a soldier's shoulder with his hands bound, he's crying and terrified. He has no idea what's going on. We've never made a target out of him because of the way he is…so being treated like this is beyond nerve wracking for him. I wanted to be strong and stop them, but I'm not like Pat…I'm not strong.

I hold Roxanne's arm for a moment longer before her mother takes her away. I go home with half a pale of water.

* * *

><p>I sleep for just a while…maybe a few hours. But it's welcome and freeing. I dreamt about Patricia…where she could be now…what she could be doing.<p>

And I dreamt of her taking me away like she promised…she said she'd take me anywhere I wanted to go. Everywhere.

So when I'm rudely shaken from my sleep and the first things I hear are my papa and grandmother shouting at the Father to leave me be. But again…the Father is too stubborn to listen.

My wrists are bound in iron and I'm led to the main hall, I see almost everyone there.

I hold my head up and stare right in Father Solomon's eyes and I watch Roxanne in disappointment but understanding.

Why couldn't it just be days ago when Patricia talked of taking me away and the wolf had never attacked…none of us would be here.

But I wasn't sure what to feel about anything anymore.

I just wanted Patricia.

"What did you tell me? Say it again." Father Solomon speaks evenly.

Roxanne doesn't look at me; her eyes go to the ceiling. "She climbs the tallest trees and runs faster than all the other girls." She's crying and sniffling and I feel bad for her. She seems to forget that Pat is even better at me at those things…but she's a woodcutter. "She wears a red cloak…the Devil's color." She was grasping at straws to make me seem like the villain.

And even though I understand why she does it…it doesn't make me feel any better. I'll be offered to the wolf or burned alive…I can't call Roxanne my friend.

"What nonsense! I made that cloak." My grandmother speaks out and I hear a sword being drawn. The Father calls for silence as he tells Roxanne to continue…and she tells them something she swore she wouldn't tell. So much for friendship.

Everything else would have been enough, wouldn't it? But she looks at me desperately and it's only for a moment before her guilty eyes turn to the floor. "She can talk to werewolves." I would never have spoken out against my word…a witch…they all think I'm a witch.

I look around and Pat is watching me beside Peter, she looks unconvinced over what she's saying about me. But she's worried…she tries to smile and for just a moment I feel a little better. But then I remember where I am and what they'll do. I frown deeper and she takes a step forward but her brother stops here, shaking his head.

"Do you deny any of this?" Father Solomon asked, staring pointedly at me.

I shake my head. I know Roxanne is just doing this for her brother…and I feel selfish because just knowing that doesn't make me feel any better. "I don't." I answered shortly.

I could hear Pat calling me softly.

"What did the wolf say to you exactly?"

I don't meet his eyes. "It promised to leave Daggerhorn alone if I go with it. It'd leave everyone in peace."

I hear the harsh whispers and feel the dirty looks…maybe I deserve this…I'm too selfish anyways.

Father Solomon stands and looks thoughtful. "…If the wolf wants you…he'll have you then. We'll draw him out, maybe it'll bring the other with it." He steps forward and I try not to flinch away when he grabs my shoulder. "The wolves are people who want you; do you know who it could be?"

It could be anyone…I hate myself for thinking of Pat right away…and then Henry…and then Peter…and then several other people's faces flashed behind my eyes. I tell him no, because I have nothing specific to offer him and I love Pat to much to put her family at stake.

I'm sent away and I hear Henry speak up finally, thinking it was a sick joke I would be given as a ploy. "It's human sacrifice!" When someone shushes him I hear him again only louder, "I don't care! That's all the more reason not to do it!"

I could feel Patricia's eye burning into my back as I'm led away.

* * *

><p>I hear it in whispers from the window…Claude is dead. Father Solomon had trapped him in that iron elephant and he'd died…if I had to guess I would have said he died more out of fear than anything else.<p>

Grandmother visits me, she's brought me bread and a blanket, and she asks if I need anything else and I ask her if it's true about Claude, she nods bitterly.

"Are you going to be okay dear?" She's so worried, she believes me even when I thought everyone around me was an enemy. I show her the knife and tell her I'll be fine. "Don't use that knife unless your life depends on it." She tells me in a deathly serious tone, I nod.

But I think about the things I need…and I still feel selfish when all I can think of it Pat.

"We'll find the wolf...or wolves…" she's grasping at straws.

"Not before sundown grandmother."

"It killed your sister…," I wondered for a moment if she knew Lucie wasn't her real granddaughter. But how could she have?

"I know…I know. But maybe it was upset with Lucie. She was in love with Henry." I mumbled; saying with the knowledge that they were related made my skin crawl. "So maybe she gave herself to the wolf instead." That almost made sense…almost.

"Sweetie, Lucie wouldn't do that." She smiles like she's sure…but you can't ever know a person. I realized that when mother told me about Lucie and her affair.

"Time is up." The soldier comes in and grandmother turns to him, handing him the basket and telling him to make sure I get it. When he takes a bite from one of the apple she smacks it into his face and hisses at him, leaving a string of curses at common soldiers.

I can't help but smile a little. Why can't I be that brave? What did it take?

* * *

><p>The sun is setting when the doors open and I see guards come in. It's time. I stand and step out of my cell. Father Solomon is holding up my cloak. "Your robe." His face twitched like he wanted to say more…but he didn't.<p>

He straightens my hair; I remember how papa used to do that with Lucie and me before we went out shopping for the morning with mother. He was kind about it; the Father's hands are rough and unforgiving but kind enough not to pull to hard.

In some part of his mind he realizes I'm still just a girl. Or I hope he does. I'm turned around and my wrists are clapped in shackles again…this wasn't fair…but I couldn't say that.

Giving up my life here and possibly being killed or kept as some toy…it's the most unselfish thing I can do.

_'Be a good girl Valerie.'_

I am. I'm trying…

Something shuffles behind me as I'm led towards the door, I look around…my papa is being led in by the guards. I'm on my feet before I realize it. "Papa?"

"I'm so sorry Valerie." He speaks softly. He's sad and regretful and upset…and tired. "I did my best, I want you to know that, I did my best to keep you safe. Both of you." He meant Lucie, he sounded like he was in so much pain…if my heart wasn't already broken to shards over Patricia…this would have done it.

"I know papa. You did your best." I can't smile…everything is broken. "You taught me to be strong, I'm proud of you." I couldn't say he taught Lucie to be strong…he raised her…but there were just some traits you get and you don't from your parents. Lucie could hold her own majority of the time…but she could never be where I am and still be sane.

He gives me a cracked smile. "You're my good girl." He says before he's shoved into the cell and I'm finally led out into the night.

I feel selfish again when I wish Patricia was there to hold me and tell me everything would be okay.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:**** I'm thinking of writing this story from the start with Pat's POV instead of Valerie's! Don't freak out on me or anything...I mean finishing in Vale's POV then starting again in Pat's and then doing one last chapter a few years later. Let me know what you think! It'd be a longer story for those who don't want it to end yet!**

**Warning!: femslash, yuri...don't like it?** (Do I sound like I give a shit? No I do not.) **OOCness! Kinda AU cause I added a person :p**

**Disclaim: I forgot to put this up! I don't own Red Riding Hood, but wouldn't it be so cool if I did?**

* * *

><p>I wasn't humiliated, but people looked at me like it was. Father Solomon had purposefully had a mask made for me to signify my public disgrace.<p>

A metal mask…

A pig mask…

But I was not humiliated, I was trying to save them…I was being as unselfish as I could possibly be, pushing the thoughts of worry for my papa and Patricia from my mind as best I could.

But like running water, images of her face trickled through the cracks in my wall. The sound of her voice rang through my ears.

_'I'm never going want anything more…not ever.'_

It made me feel better…because even my supposed friends stared as I was marched by. It made me feel better because maybe there was something that wolf knew about me that I hadn't known yet.

I'm shackled down.

My vision is simply straight ahead…the mask leaves no room for seeing someone come up from either side of me. I see my mother through just my right eye, her fever is broken and she's crying for me, trying to take me away. The scars are covered.

Maybe the wolf knew there was something dark inside my heart…something more than being selfish. Something putrid and black and _evil_.

I just wanted to be selfish…just once with just Patricia…and this…this was my punishment.

Everyone is gone…as far as I can see when suddenly Prudence's face appears in front of my left…she looks bitter and stoic.

"Prudence." I state, the mask muffles my voice to a metallic hum.

"Valerie," she looks worried, but there's something dark in her eyes…bitter satisfaction. She's happy I'm here…but she's luck I've never bothered much with what others thought of me. "Roxanne wanted me to tell you how sorry she is." Her face drifts from one eye to the other.

I want to be rude…to be mean the way I had been with mother when I found out about Lucie…but I'm not. So instead of saying something about how if she were truly sorry she'd have come here herself…which she didn't because she's a coward…I say, "It's fine. I understand why she did it. I'm not angry."

"Of course." She smiles before she frowns…she leaves one eye and drifts to the other. "But I wanted to say," there it is again…that satisfaction. Prudence has always been a nasty girl. I may be selfish but at least I have the heart to admit it. She can be rude and harsh and cruel…and deny she did any such things to her grave. "I don't know what to say."

"So don't." I answer, the mask is not humiliating…what's humiliating is the pity I see in her eyes…

"But I want to." She gives me a little smirk. Patricia would have torn her in half by now…and as nasty as that makes me to be…it sates my bubbling anger towards someone I thought I knew. "You fooled Roxanne…but I see past your tricks. You don't fool me."

"Funny," I can't help it. "Because you sound like one."

"At least I don't look like one." She snaps.

I scoff. "I actually kind of like it. You can say what you want…I could have fought this to the end…and no matter how it would have turned out…I'd still be a better person than you. After all," I pause, she's glaring at me with hard eyes…I'm tired of caring. "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?"

"We'll see whose laughing when the wolf comes to kill you. You'll finally get what you deserve."

I shake my head. "I'm not the one it wants to kill." Why did they all think it was just one?

"I should have known you were a witch…we all should have. You were too good…to pretty…to perfect. In the end it always got you what you wanted. Who you wanted." So that's why she was angry…she was jealous.

I was never too good…I was always so selfish and eager to follow Pat when she was doing something good in the wrong ways. I've never thought of myself as to pretty…I thought I looked more decent, but never better. And I was never perfect, but I always felt like I was when Patricia told me so every day.

"You're jealous." I can't help my smirk, even if she can't see it.

She looks afraid…like she's let out a horrible secret.

"You were in love with Patricia weren't you?" She glares at me and opens her mouth…but no words come. "You still do...and it kills you that she chose me. That we chose each other."

"If she chose you then why are you still shackled here?"

"She'll come." I felt it, as little as I did. I felt it. "Just wait Prudence. But you should know before you leave," I watch her through my right eye. "No matter what…even if I wasn't here…she still wouldn't have chosen you. She doesn't like nasty little girls like you."

She stalks away, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she goes. I won…it's a sad victory…like salt in a wound…but it's a victory I still cherish in what could be my last hours…minutes even.

Someone jumps down from a second floor landing and jogs towards me quickly. It's Peter, he looks tired. "Valerie," I've never been happier to see him, I lift my head and watch him carefully. "It'll be okay," he glances around. "Pat talked to your father…she wants your hand…he gave her his blessing." I nod. I can feel my eyes sting.

"It'll be okay. Just wait a little bit." He turns and runs back to where he came from, vanishing down a side street.

I knew it; I knew she wouldn't abandon me. I felt foolish for doubting her…but I felt wary as I questioned, again, who the wolves could be.

Everyone seemed to have dark brown eyes…my mother even had brown eyes…why were mine blue? Was I wrong in some way…I tried to calm myself. The mask was muffling my breath…the smell of damp metal was not a pleasant one.

A thought struck me…it could be Peter and Patricia…they had the same eyes…one was kind and the other was possessive…

No! She was going to save me…I had to stop doubting her…I had to.

* * *

><p>It was dark…I could see very clearly the bright blood red moon…it was almost time. I glance to my left…Father Solomon is smirking from his perch. He thinks he's just so clever…doesn't he?<p>

I just stare as a trail of fire bursts into life in front of me. I flinch and look to see if it's Peter or Patricia; it's to dark…all I can see are two dark shapes. But if they were even the brother and sister…I had no way of knowing…my heart started pounding when I realized it could be the wolves laying a trap.

There are shouts from the soldiers, the Father calls for them to put it out and they struggle to do so…but it's to late…it catches and hay stacks are being set ablaze.

I jump when hands touch my back. "Calm down, I'm going to get you out of here." It's Henry. I don't understand why…but I'm not going to argue.

"Where's Patricia?"

"Helping Peter with the fire and the guards. They'll be waiting for us." Henry answers as he picks the lock on my left shackle.

They can't see through the smoke.

Patricia was always good at doing bad things well, as much as she never wanted to.

There's more fire and everything is painted orange and gold. The mask is staring to get to hot. I hear shouts and look to my right, Patricia is thrown into the street and two guards are on her, but she's fighting back.

"Hold still." Henry hisses in my ear.

Peter is there, he kicks one guard away and helps Pat to her feet, he pulls her away as she takes his ax and brings it down hard into the second soldiers shoulder.

They're gone…and I'm almost free…my heart is beating so hard it hurts.

But I still feel that mistrust…that this is all a ploy…and a sick one.

"She's escaping! Fire!" No…they've seen him…

Henry gives the lock one last twist and the shackle falls free. "Let's go." He grabs my wrist and I use my free hand to pull the mask off and toss it into the snow as I'm pulled along. Before I'm pulled behind a building…I see Father Solomon literally stab Father Auguste in the back…then throw him aside.

I turn and run ahead of Henry, but he doesn't release my wrist. My only thoughts are of getting to Patricia and make sure she's alright, to hell with all my needling doubts. My blonde hair is flying in my face as I run and my cloak whips back behind me, Henry still doesn't let go. He must have made a promise.

I stop…there's shouting nearby...I can hear her…Patricia. "No! Let go of me!" There's a shout of pain.

"Come on, they're supposed to meet us by the horses. They can hold their own." Henry assures me, but I'm still worried. Patricia can get…violent…when it comes to me.

Like the time she broke a boys nose when he grabbed at me…it seems years and years ago…but it was only two…and still thinking about it makes me feel like a child.

Henry stops…there's nobody here waiting for us. My mistrust stars to rise again. "Where are Patricia and Peter?"

Henry looks just as confused as I feel. "They were supposed to be here. I'm sure they'll be here soon." He lets go of my wrist and I quickly step back, removing the knife that cooled against my skin while I was shackled down to the sacrifice tablet.

It's not foreign in my hand like I wish it were, no…Pat taught me long ago how to use a dagger for basic defenses. Once again I feel selfish and rude…no…I've never been a good girl.

Henry turns as I keep it hidden. "If they aren't here soon, I'll take you away." He steps closer and I step back, holding the weapon firmly at my side. He sees it. "…This is…you're way of saying you think it's me…isn't it?" He looks me in the eye; I don't need to say anything for him to understand.

There are shouts from the soldiers…suddenly there's a loud clamor and screams, but over it all I can still hear the echoing bellow of the wolf.

I hide the knife…still untrusting. "Come on."

"I can't leave Patricia out there!"

"She could be anywhere! I'm sure she'd rather you safe and alive than out looking for her when the wolf is about!" I couldn't argue… I let him lead me into a stable as we hear soldiers get closer.

"The church." I mumble, turning to face him with my back against the hard wood. "The wolf can't cross on holy ground."

My first instinct is to kick him away when he reaches for my leg, my calmer instincts tell me he just wants the dagger…but when he looks at me before he kneels…I know he wants so much more, and there's a part of him that's upset because he'll never get it. But he takes the dagger and he stands, pulling me aside quickly.

He pries a wood beam out of the wall with the blade and pulls me through first. He follows, a hand between my shoulders…I hear a snarl and my heart is beating all to painfully all over again. Henry makes me keep moving…

"Patricia…we have to find Patricia." I mumble.

"They'll either be out of the village or already at the church." He rushes, I hear it before I see it. The hiss of an arrow cutting through the air, then Henry is in front of me and I'm shocked that I can hear the hard sound of it ripping into his chest.

"Henry." I try and help him…he won't hear of it…but neither will I.

"Go, you need to stay safe."

"I'm not going to leave you here to die. You didn't leave me…I can't leave you." I'm letting myself be forceful…totally selfish as I help him stand and he groans in pain. And the guilt hits me…I help him out of desperation not good deeds. If I didn't save his life…she'd never look at me again…let alone take me back.

We're lucky the church is only feet away…we aren't three steps away when Father Solomon is walking out of the door decorated in fine paints of an angel and a demon wolf. "We claim sanctuary." I was prepared for his decline.

"You're not on holy grounds yet." The Father reaches and pulled the hard metal arrow from Henry's chest, making him groan in pain. I'm still doing my best to keep him upright. "This is mine."

I shove Henry onto the church grounds, they can keep me off limits all they want…I just want Pat. "What did you do with Patricia?"

"Who?"

"Patricia!" I snap again, I see his eyes turn a fraction over my shoulder…I turn slowly and look…it's there…watching. It's just one.

The soldiers that had been chasing Henry and I are dead.

It snarls when it sees us looking, I try not to flinch. I do my best to act brave and be strong but I'm a quivering mess on the inside.

Something hard grabs the back of my head and my hair is pulled painfully, I hear Father Solomon shouting and I see the wolf charging. I'm suddenly pulled back harder and I fall to the snow. I hear more shouting.

There's a shout of pain and I look up to see through the crowding people around me…the wolf has bitten off the Father's hand…wrist and all.

_'Father Solomon will die like the rest…'_

Because after all…a man bitten is a man cursed.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:**** Sorry about taking so long to update. I've been working this summer from 7 AM to 6 PM. So that leaves me with very little time to write these stories. Anyways the idea that the story will be redone in Pat's POV when I'm done with Valerie's POV still stands. But I need to know what YOU think. Cause I'm probably not going to do it unless I get 3 or more reviews saying that it should be done.**

**Warning!: femslash, yuri...don't like it?** (Do I sound like I give a shit? No I do not.) **OOCness! Kinda AU cause I added a person :p**

**Disclaim: I forgot to put this up! I don't own Red Riding Hood, but wouldn't it be so cool if I did?**

* * *

><p><em>'Be good Valerie.'<em>

How could I be good if I didn't feel good? It didn't make sense. I was terrified, sad, miserable, lonely…how could I be good? How could I make the attempt when I tried, was almost saved, then captured again?

I couldn't be good if my attempts were foiled.

Foiled…that's how I felt. Maybe it'd make like easier on everyone.

…Foiled…to be cut off at the knee. It'd make the wolfs jobs easier on them. To get me out of the village.

I watched, as the soldiers pulled the Father onto the church grounds. I was on my feet as quickly as I'd been pulled down.

The wolf looked at me.

_'Valerie,'_ It was in my head…beating from the outside in…it was unpleasant. _'Come across. Or this village you love so much will be destroyed.'_

"No…don't…," What did I want to say? What could I say? These people didn't care about me…they gave me up so easily. Why should I defend them? Why should I give up my life so they can go about theirs and tell their children about little red riding hood who walked with the big bad wolf?

_'You don't have to wear make-up Vale…I think you're perfect the way you are.'_

Oh yes…that was why.

If I gave myself over to the wolf willingly…Patricia would always want me. She'd always be there. She'd always kiss me like she did that night.

She'd always be proud of me.

Patricia…

She always thought I was perfect…here was my chance to prove her right.

_'Come away with me before the sun rises. Make your choice.'_

I glanced behind me…now Prudence was afraid of me…I held the lives of every villager in my hand…it frightened me more than it gave me a sense of power. "I can't let you destroy my home…the lives of these people." I mumble.

The wolf gives me an evenly smug look…it's pleased with itself.

"I'll go with you," I can hear henry struggle behind me. "Just leave them alone."

_'You were always too nice for your own good Valerie.'_

"You don't know the first thing about me." I couldn't help my snap.

_'These people abandoned you in your time of need Valerie…mocked you even._' So it'd been watching…

"I know…I don't care…I'll go with you if you swear to leave them alone."

Something is on my arm and I'm being pulled back, I see a sleek head of red hair stand in front of me. Roxanne is defending me…she's braver than I thought.

And then Prudence…and I think maybe I had been wrong about her…but when I look at her dark eyes…she's nervous. She's afraid I'll use the wolf to my benefit.

Again the power of such strength is frightening.

And suddenly everyone is protecting me and the wolf is becoming agitated.

'_Valerie…,'_

_'Leave!_' It's the second wolf. It leaps down from the right side of the square and snarls at the other wolf…the villagers squeak and shout and call in fear…but they stand their ground. A werewolf cannot step on holy ground_. 'She won't go…they won't let her…take your loss and go.'_

'Watch your tone with me pup.' The darker wolf snaps its jaws, dagger teeth gleaming in its maw.

The second wolf copies the first and leaps at it. I watch as a portion of its forearm becomes burnt and charred as it's shoved to far and leans onto the church grounds. It pushes back and snaps its own sharps teeth at the darker wolf that seems to back down. It looks at me one last time.

_'Don't think you can escape from me.'_ And it's gone…leaping into the shadows with almost cat-like grace. _'I will not be easily swayed.'_

In the rising sun the remaining wolf looks at me as well. _'He's right.'_ It mutters softly. Its water drown voice lowers to a soft hum as it turns and follows after the darker wolf.

Nothing but silence is left in their wake. But then again…aside from all the typical animal wounds I'm sure were there…silence was all there was to begin with.

* * *

><p>I only returned Roxanne's hug…to terrified to speak or fully understand what had just happened. I feel Prudence at my back and I bask in the feeling of accomplishment.<p>

Pat would have been so proud of me.

But she would have been so disappointed if I told her how much I wanted to act on my impulses and just let the others' lives be destroyed. How willing I was to be so selfish! She'd have hated me.

My basking only lasted but a moment…I felt a sharp pull on my hair as Father Solomon's ugly nails twisted painfully into it.

He pulled to hard my head snapped back. I could hear myself call out in pain. The sounds squeeze from my constricted wind pipe.

"She's a witch! She must still burn for her crimes!" He shouted. He must be so superior…I'm sure he's committed plenty of crimes, more than worthy of being burned alive. But he's a priest…his crimes like the crimes of so many other '_respectable'_ people are simply overlooked.

I felt a hard push, I stumbled…my legs twisting in my dress. There was a sharp pain at the crown of my head…I'm not sure what I hit though, or if I'm bleeding badly or not at all. But I feel the cold snow on my back and I stare up and see nothing but white. I blink and look around blearily, I realize I had been staring at the cloud and snow covered sky with small flecks of gold streaming by.

I sit up on my elbows and Roxanne is trying to help me up. The Father, his one hand missing, is on the ground, staring up at one of his soldiers who has a blade to his throat.

"You'd kill me? Leave my children as orphans?" He knew no honor.

"My brother had children too." The soldier choked out. "Under the blood moon…a man bitten is a man cursed. You told us that."

The Father choked something out, and then he was calm, a blank look on his face. "To protect us from darkness." He was wrong…he was so wrong. There'd always be darkness…always evil. Some people are just born bad.

I think I must be bad…because I fail so much at being _good_. And it's the simplest thing in the world…to follow the path you know is right…I never go. I never go because I always follow Patricia; who has paved a road between the two.

Patricia is Patricia…she's not bad…but she doesn't always make good choices. But to me…she's beyond perfect…she's my dark princess from fairytales.

_'Don't change.'_ She'd tell me, calling me perfect. But in my eyes…I'm just a mess of flaws and selfishness, that's the path I make for myself as I follow Pat.

I watched the soldier stab his blade down in a swift movement that almost seemed like a twitch. The Father seemed to smile for a moment…maybe he was happy he didn't have to fight anymore…that he didn't have to worry anymore…maybe in death his wife would be just that…his wife. Nothing more or less.

Father Solomon…was dead.

* * *

><p>I think I must have blacked out again…because suddenly I was blinking and I felt a tacky wet spot on my temple…I was bleeding.<p>

I blinked and Roxanne with Prudence on either side of me appeared from my blurred vision. "Pat…Patricia…where is she?"

My vision blurred again…it swam in and out of smoke filled rooms with heavy chests and rick velvet clothes, and then I saw myself…I was in bed…there was my grandmother beside me. She was asleep.

I looked around as I sat up. The bed is covered in thick pink curtains and I see someone move behind them.

**'Hello?'** My voice is quiet and strange in my own ears. The curtain pulls back and I can't help my smile when my wild haired Patricia comes into view. It felt like ages… 

**'Pat.'** I sigh.

She smiles at me, her hair is tied up in a high messy tail…I love it. But she looks different…almost scary in her dark beauty. **'Patricia…what big eyes you have.'** I almost laugh; I feel too relieved to see her to remember I'm not supposed to trust her.

**'It makes it easier to see you Vale.'**

I smile…I don't feel as good to see her…I feel a cold edge of doubt dip into my belly. She turns and moves closer to me. **'Patricia…what big ears you have.'**

She smiles at me, it's tight lipped but her big brown eyes are alight, dancing and sparkling like diamonds.

**'It makes it easier to hear you Vale.'**

I begin to have cold hard panic…my smile drops into a confused frown. Why was she acting like this…she wouldn't hurt me would she? Of not Valerie, she's Pat…she'd never hurt you.

She grins now, teeth gleaming, her canines are long and dagger sharp.

Dagger sharp…

**'…What big teeth you have.**' I mumble

Her eyes change…there's something malicious and dark and evil in her eyes. It sends shivers racing up and down my spine. **'The better to taste you with Vale.'**

She's leaning over me now…every nerve is telling me to push her away and run…but she looks like Patricia…and she sounds like Patricia…and she smells like Patricia. Her wild scent blankets me as she leans closer.

I glance over, remembering that grandmother is there…that nothing bad can happen.

I choke back my scream.

Her throat had been ripped out.

I gasp in pain and terror as I feel Patricia's canines on my throat. They close down…and they dig deeper…and deeper…

Deeper…

* * *

><p>I jump awake, a damp cloth falls from my head. It was a dream, I tell myself over and over again. I look over…someone's there, but I feel too rushed to note who it is exactly…probably Roxanne.<p>

Creeping from my bed, I step over to the ladder.

"Valerie," It mother…she's better. Has been for a while…hours only though…a day maybe. I don't call her mama now. I can't, she feels like an imposter. Like the sweet woman who raised me that I believed could do no wrong…had done something so terrible. "What are you doing out of bed?"

She's worried. I love my mother dearly, I always would. But I could never think of her the same way again.

"I was worried." I stand still as she pulls me closer and looks at my temple. "It's better, you shouldn't have a scar." I try not to stare at the pale scars that are still healing on her own skin.

I nod, pulling away as she goes to turn the food cooking in the pot. I grab my cloak and a basket…I have to do something…I have to check.

"Where are you going sweetie?"

I pull on the red cloth, it's now something that defines me from the others…marks me as the official outsider looking in. "To grandmother's house. I just want to check in." I answer, closing the door behind me.

* * *

><p>I stood in front of the church, I looked down…crouched, and for a moment I prayed.<p>

Prayed everything would be okay…that Pat was safe and papa was alright and grandmother was still alive. I prayed…and in a dark part of my heart…somewhere deep inside where nobody else can see…I wished I could be selfish for just a day and it'd be okay.

I stand and turn, closing my basket. There's Henry…he's patched up his wound and he's going to help hunt the wolf. Both of them.

"We're moving out before the snow can fully cover their tracks. It'll be human…and then we can…we can kill it." It sounded forced, like he'd never even thought the idea of killing were a real thing. Like it was a child's game.

"And," he pauses, unsure.

"What?" My heart began to race…, "Is it her…where is she?"

He looks at me evenly, his eyes full of hurt and pain. "Patricia is still missing." He gives me a look…and I know we're both thinking the same thing. "I'll do what I have to do." So he thought she was a wolf too.

I nod, trying to ignore the sting in my eyes. Pressing a hand to his chest. "Be careful." He's hard and cold and solid. I plant a kiss under his jaw; I can hear his heart pick up speed. He smells like smoke and soap. It bit into my senses and I pulled back.

He smiled; I realize I'd given him a false hope. Without Patricia…there was no future for me. I'd realized that years ago when she kissed me that night.

He goes to his horse; he doesn't apologize for the fact that he may have to kill the only person I truly love. It makes sense though…what could he possibly say to make me feel better?

* * *

><p>I'm quiet…brushing through the low branches of pine easily and softly. I'm winter's ghost this day.<p>

My basket it held secure in my hand. I wish I felt as confident as I walked…my stomach was a cold knot of nerves that kept getting bigger and made me shiver with fear and procrastination.

Everything seems wrong now. My elation at the fact that Pat would ask my hand had faded to a dull glory, if she was _not_ the wolf.

The forest seemed like my enemy. Every sound had me at alert. Every drop of snow pulled my eyes in different directions. Every little thing seemed to move…like I was being watched. And I truly felt I was.

"Valerie!" I jump and turn at the voice…Patricia. Her hair is covered in soft snow and her warm black cape is torn a little. But she looks fine. Healthy. She steps from between rows of trees and smiles that sweet smile. "Are you okay? I tried to get you out last night, I guess it worked."

I swallow my joy at seeing her. She was the only person that made it this difficult to function. All my nerves stood on end and the cold knot in my belly grew more and quivered with a small warmth and fear.

I was torn.

She frowned a little. "Vale?"

"Where were you?" Why didn't you come for me? To help me when I was offered to the wolf by the Father.

I look her over, she has heavy leather gloves on, and instead of thinking that maybe they were just for the cold…I remember both wolves being burned by the church and its holy ground. One had its front paw burned and the other…the side of its forearm. I back away. "Where were you?" I repeat.

"Father Solomon trapped me inside that iron elephant for trying to save you. I got out though." She smiled sweetly again. "Even God can't keep me away from you." Normally I would have swooned over her devotion, and the selfish part of my heart did. I melted a little inside.

She stepped closer and I stepped back. "Don't," she frowns again. "Don't come near me." I try my hardest to ignore the hurt in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" She's sincere. Even with my doubting heart…I still wished I could be as good as she was. "Did something happen to you?" She looks me over, her eyes land on the still healing mark at my temple. She makes a face. "Who did that?"

"It doesn't matter, the wolf got him killed."

"Doesn't matter? Valerie you're hurt. Of course it matters!" She snaps and steps back when I flinch. "I'm sorry…Vale…"

"Don't…I can't trust you."

"So you really think I'm the wolf." It kills me, makes my heart twist painfully when this amazing woman…this person with the biggest heart and the strongest courage…speaks in a voice so small she could be a mouse. It kills me.

"I'm sorry." I mumble. The dagger in my hand gripped so hard it hurts.

She looks at me, hurt and lost but still full of love. She steps closer. "Valerie…I would never hurt you." She steps even closer. My hand twitches. "You have to know that."

"Stay back." I hold up the blade, again it's uncomfortable…a weapon shouldn't feel so familiar to a girl. Especially a girl whose supposed to be good.

She seems unsure now. "You're not gunna hurt me." I look away from her swimming brown eyes. She looks betrayed. She steps closer.

"Please don't do this Pat…please." I beg.

"So do it…if you're that scared I'll hurt you…just do it." She steps closer.

I'm terrified and my muscles are wired with nervous jerks, making my hands shake horribly. I lower the knife…but then I jerk again and the blade is sinking into her stomach, past the skin and inside.

_'Be good Valerie…just be good.'_

I'm not a good girl…there's something evil and putrid in my heart…maybe black blood is in my veins. Or only in my heart.

Patricia groans and leans forward, hands covering the wound. I jump back and dash by her. To afraid to see the emotions that are making my heart break even more.

I look back for a moment as I rush forward, she's looking at me…watching me. I see her mouth move and I can hear my name only just. I look away…and when I look back for what I think will be the last time

…She's gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:**** Because I got no votes for Pat's POV, I'm not doing it. I'm doing one more chapter. A 'such and such a time later' And...revamping that Twilight fanfic is a lot harder than I thought it'd be. I just don't feel like it anymore really. But I have to do it anyways. And good news to all you Glee fans (if you even read these notes) a friend and I will be writing a Pezberry Glee fanfic. I was conflicted on what pairing to write for an chose Pezberry because it's awesome and because there aren't many stories for them.**

**Warning!: femslash, yuri...don't like it?** (Do I sound like I give a shit? No I do not.) **OOCness! Kinda AU cause I added a person :p**

**Disclaim: I forgot to put this up! I don't own Red Riding Hood, but wouldn't it be so cool if I did?**

* * *

><p>Fleet Foot…Pat had called me that when we were kids. Now I understood why.<p>

I darted between the trees, trying my hardest to avoid the sharp spines that stuck out and stood ready to impale. My hair whipped into my face; in the bright sunlight it almost looked golden. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me to grandmother's house.

As I ran, Patricia's voice kept ringing in my ear. Everything she'd ever said.

About how perfect I was, how I should be good, how I should never change, the way I smiled…it was a swirl of fog coated memories that unclouded behind my eyes as they passed and became blurry once again as they ran by like water.

I love Pat…I love her more than anything. I hated feeling nervous about what she could be. I hated questioning how loyal she was to me.

But I couldn't help myself.

…And so I figured…there must be something black inside my heart. There must be if I couldn't trust the one I love the most.

"Grandmother?" I didn't expect her to hear me out here, but I prayed to a god that may hate my sinful ways that she was alright. I slid inside and closed the door to shield myself and the house from the cold.

Usually her house was warm and had a nice comfortable feeling with scents of fresh stew or just baked breads wafting in the air. But today it was cold and eerie and foreboding. No smell of fresh anything's greeted my still cold nose. "Grandmother?" I tried again.

I set down my basket and pulled down my hood, straightening my messy blonde locks. "Are you here?" I call. "I had a nightmare," I stopped when I heard a loud creak. Floorboards shifting, "Grandmother?"

I see a shadow and gasp when it looks like the wolf, and I convince myself it must be a trick of the light, because then a candle is flickering and I can see her sitting up. "I'm fine." She sounds strained. "There's soup if you're hungry dear." She coughed.

Her food was always the best, I moved quickly to get some. She continued to cough, like she was trying to clear her throat and readjust her voice. "Are you sick?" I didn't want to tell her my fear of Pat being the wolf…one of them anyways.

"I'm fine. Eat up dear, and remember,"

"All sorrows are less with bread." We mimicked. She hissed it…it made my brow furrow as I sat. I wish sadness was less with anything, but the only thing that would make me happy right now is to be with Pat, a small part of me whispering that I didn't care if she was a wolf or not.

I took a bite of the stew…it tasted funny…bitter. Unusual for her…she whispered at me to eat up and that it'd be alright.

Something felt wrong…I stared into the bowl…it was brown and lumpy…it looked like cooked guts ground into a fine paste…the thought made me ill and I set it aside. "Grandmother…what's in the soup?" I ask cautiously, watching the curtain to her bed.

She pulled off her scarf and tugged off her rode…she didn't look like herself anymore…this was why it felt wrong…there was an imposter…my legs shook with adrenaline but I was to rooted with fear to move.

The curtains open and I stand…, "Father…what are you doing here? Where's grandmother?" He looks worried and tired and slightly annoyed.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, stepped closer. I stepped back. "She knew…finally knew. I didn't want to, but I had no choice." Again I prayed to a god that probably hated me for my sins; that he did not mean what I think he meant. "She figured out what I am." He held out his right hand, burned and charred and healing.

The wolves…the first one stepped over on the holy grounds with its front paw…the other had the side of its forearm damaged.

"You…it's been you." I whisper.

"Not all of it." He sounds defensive.

I swallow, rooted still in my nerve grinding terror. "How, how could you do this? Any of it?" I ask, turning to him fully as he stepped closer. "How much of it was you?" I demanded.

"Sit down." He nods to a chair.

I shake my head. "No." I insist.

"_Sit down_." He hisses, his voice lowering to an animalistic growl. I wish at a younger age I had recognized that tone, but I did now…he used that tone on me when I was a little girl and refused to listen. I wish I realized I was the only one who heard that low hiss of anger.

Sitting quickly, I wrap my hands around each other as I wait for him to start a story I hope is an explanation.

"I think I've done good…haven't I? Gave every coin I earned to you, Lucie, your mother. Worked hard to put food on the table and keep nice clothes on your backs. I raised you both up right…so why do I suffer more than I deserve? What did I do to make people spit in my face?" He turns and paces across the hardwood floor.

I glance at my basket and then back to him, he turns to me.

"I decided I'd leave. I'm disrespected and made a fool of here." He grumbled. "I wanted to go to the city. More people, more money…it all works out." He sat across from me.

I gave him as even a look as I could. "Then why don't you leave?" I didn't mean for it sound so bitter, simply out of fear that he'd lash out at me. But I knew him better. Wolf or not…he was still my papa. He'd never hurt me. Or at least not intentionally.

He shrugs. "I thought that was easy. I loved you and your sister, I still love you. You're my good girl." He smiles wistfully. "But," he's frowning. "I had to wait. The blood moon is my birthright. To change my first born."

Oh no…

"I forged a note for Lucie." It must have been from Henry. "I tried to speak to her." He smiles without humor, eyes hurt. "Only to find…she couldn't understand me." His smile drops. "Any child of mine can understand a wolf. It's a birthright."

I…I was a wolf, or I had the blood in me. That must be the blackness in my heart, why I'm so selfish all the time.

Oh my God…Lucie…

"Your mother lied to be…Lucie wasn't my child." I felt horrible for Lucie and what he'd done to her…but I also felt bad for my papa. We could have had more had he not been breaking his back to feed the three of us and himself.

It was all wrong…the lies…all of them. It was all backwards.

I met his gaze, he looked hurt. "But you knew already didn't you?" He'd heard us…me and mother talking. "I am glad that at least you tried to understand how I must have felt. And I understood that you couldn't tell me…how could you?"

He was right. I was stuck in the middle…neutral.

"I lost it…after all my hard work of being secretive and clever and hiding so well…I lost control." He sighed. "I am sorry about Lucie. Really…she may not have been mine but until I knew she wasn't I always thought of her as so."

I swallow my nerves and open my mouth. "You took revenge on mother." I wasn't expecting him to shake his head.

"No. I would have, but I wasn't the one who attacked her first." He looked down.

So it was the other one…who was it? "Do you know who it is?"

"I do, but I can't tell you." He shook his head again. "It's a sworn oath at birth. To keep ourselves and our kind safe…we must never reveal another." He explained.

I should have known…of course they would have something like that.

"I did, however; take revenge on her lover." He growled. "I worked and worked for your mother. And I only worked harder when our family started," he paused. "He ruined my life and made it a lie…I could have kept a whole family of my own…just me…but no. He always took whatever he wanted." He huffed.

I sit and let him continue. "Henry smelled the wolf…he memorized it while he hid away. He thought it came from your grandmother." I noted that he didn't say mother. "But she wouldn't know. She'd lived with it her whole life."

My brow furrowed in confusion. "My father was a wolf, and his uncle before him, and his uncle's mother." I was left speechless…the line…it didn't look like it had an end. Father Solomon had mumbled that the wolf must have come from a long uninterrupted line. "I'm not sure where the other started…but they're just as strong."

I can do nothing but nod. This is all too much, just too much.

"I didn't want to hurt my mother…I loved her, and I didn't mean to hurt Lucie…but my secrecy means everything to me. It meant everything to my father as well. If she had found out I knew she'd tell your mother. So…," I could just see grandmother turning at a sudden sound and then dropping dead with a blood wine stain on the floor.

"Valerie, come with me." He leans forward and I try not to flinch. "It's the last night of the blood moon. Just one bite and you're like me. Better."

I shake my head. "I was chained down with a pig mask over my face…and it was because I was better. You're not better papa, you're just luckier." He was, he got to do everything he could from sheer luck of blood. "I can't kill people like you do."

He scoffs. "Yes you can. My blood is in your veins…you want to tear people apart when you get angry. I know you do." He was right…I'd had far too many fantasies about ripping the throats from girls who go to close to Patricia, or called me horrible names.

I would always tell Pat, and she'd always laugh it off.

_'There was a little girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she was very, very good. But when she was bad she was horrid.'_

The rhyme made more sense to me now I knew what I was…what I could be.

"We could be invincible." He sits back with an almost smug smile.

I smile…sweet and soft, but my eyes glared at him. "You know…Patricia must be a God…because you're the Devil."

He frowned. "And you're the Devil's daughter." I flinched. He made a good point.

When Pat found out…she'd never want me…after everything I done was brought to light, all my selfishness, my horrible ideas, my nasty temper…my blood. How could she possibly want me?

There was a splintering crash and I looked around in time to see the door fly off its hinges. Patricia stood there, wild hair matted down to her forehead from sweat. She looked…like a hero from those fairytales they tell in those giant leather tomes.

"Not so terrifying when the moon isn't up are we?" Patricia steps forward, raises her ax and swings it down hard. My papa grabs the hilt but not before the blade digs into his skin and leaves a nasty cut.

Patricia shouts in surprise when her free arm is pulled around and suddenly she's facing me with the ax at her throat. "No!" I'm shouting before I can help it.

She throws him back and kicks him in the knee; he grunts but hardly seems to notice. She head-butts him and his nose starts to bleed.

Pat is strong…but papa grabs her by the back of her jacket and hurls her aside. I gasp and watch as she slumps and her ax lands beside her.

I act before I think, the feeling of pure selfishness running through me. I turn and grab my basket when papa isn't looking and I pull up my hood.

'You're my good girl.'

No…I'm not good at all. "Papa!" He turns to me. "I brought something I think you'll like." I blink back my tears. He steps closer. "All sorrows are less,"

"With bread." He finishes, smiling. I see Pat moving from the corner of my eye. Suddenly papa isn't smiling anymore. His face is twisted in pain and surprise. I look now...Pat is standing there with her arm outstretched and her hand open.

Still unthinking, I flip open the cloth in the basket and pull out Father Solomon's severed hand. Those two silver fingernails had to help. Werewolves and silver never had mixed.

The look of betrayal on his face broke my heart as I stabbed the long nails into his belly.

Patricia moves calmly and quietly to calm me as papa drops to the floor and suffers through his last breaths only a moment longer.

I gasp for air; my heart felt like it was being squeezed by an iron hand. "Pat…please…," I don't need to say more before she takes my shoulders and leads me out into the cold winter air.

But then I remember something as she pulls away and stands at a distance. "…You said we…Pat…,"

She tugs up her sleeve to show me a charred patch of skin on the side of her forearm. "Yeah." Is all she says to me. "You were right not to trust me…I wouldn't if I were you. But if you thought I would hurt you…you're wrong." She sighs. "I just wanted to keep you safe Vale, to protect you." I blink back more tears.

"I know." I felt so horrible. Patricia loved me…loved me so much she broke out of an iron beast just to get to me. Loved me so much….she was willing to let me go so I could have a chance at a better 'richer' life. I let her down…and she was always there to pick me up…no matter how much I failed.

"I'm so sorry Pat."

She shakes her head. "You shouldn't be. I get it." She smiles; it's crooked and painful but full of her usual sweetness. I loved her so much. "You should go home Vale. Your mother is probably worried."

"I won't leave you."

"Vale…,"

"No."

"You have to…it's still the blood moon tonight."

"You won't hurt me." I believed it now. She had, after all, controlled herself all this time while being a wolf.

"I won't…but I don't know what else I might do." She eyes me, just like she did the other night. "I need to learn total control."

"But Patricia,"

"Valerie, you don't know what it's like." She steps closer. "I want you…all the time. So much I have to get away from you to keep in control. The beast in me is always screaming at me to make you mine, to take you as my own. But I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm wrong for you. Or I will be until I can control myself better around you." It made sense now…all those times she'd vanished once we got in to deep. "Please understand?"

I shook my head. "Why are you so good? How can you be, especially to me? I stabbed you. I hurt you."

She smiles wistfully and lifts her shirt above her hips, there's a small red line where the cut healed over. "I'll live. And I'm not good Vale…but being with you makes me want to be." I once said the same thing to myself time and time again. I step closer and hold her warm face in my hands.

"I'm not good enough…I'm the one…,"

"You're _to_ good Valerie." She holds my hands.

How can she say that after everything that's happened? "I'm not…not at all. I'm selfish and rude and wrong."

"It just means your human. It's the hardest thing to admit but humans are selfish creatures. And the hardest thing to say to yourself is that you do make mistakes." Patricia always had a way with words.

"…But you're not human." I mumble after a small hesitation.

She chuckles, kissing my fingers. "No, I'm not. Which makes me worse. I'm subjected to natural animal instinct. And animals are selfish by blood and life. Especially the wolf. A wolf mates for life…they take and never give back. They take care of their own…anyone else is just an unlucky passerby."

She stares at me for a long time. Before she finally leans in and kisses me.

We'll mean more to each other than we'll ever know.

* * *

><p>We sink my papa's stiff pale body. Patricia cuts him open and places the large rocks inside his gut and sews him back up. She made me stay away, said it wasn't proper for a lady.<p>

Neither of us could tell a soul.

"They'll hang us. Me for being a wolf…you for being the daughter of one…and for being my mate." I felt a warm tingle in my heart as she said he last word. It felt final and promising…and after all this I really needed a promise. Patricia had never failed me before.

We hadn't done anything…serious yet. No, not yet. But we had done almost everything else. So…I was considered her partner…her mate.

She washes off her hands as I say my last goodbyes to my papa. He'd been so honest, even if he had lied about who he really was…but he was very brave too. When all is said and done…Patricia gently pushes him into the water and I watch him sink to the bottom until the water becomes too murky to see through.

She stands there longer than I do, and I turn and watch the frosted forest…only turning around when I hear splashing water. "Patricia!" I cry helplessly. She'd gotten into a boat and was now moving away, I stepped quickly to try and follow, but I knew it was too late.

"Pat…what are you doing?"

"I have to learn more control. You heard what he said…he lost control…even after so long." She turns and calls back, her hair is down now.

"You controlled yourself just fine that night pat, come back. Please!"

She shakes her head. "I didn't want to though Vale. You know how hard it was not to do anything...everyday? I…I want to be able to control my feelings better. I can't take you with me Valerie."

"Maybe I want to." I call back. Maybe I wanted her to lose control with me. She'd never hurt me, no, but she could make me melt in sinfully delicious ways with just a kiss.

She laughs, her smile that I remembered playing on her face. "That's your answer for everything." She ruffles her hair and turns away, moving across the still freezing river.

"I love you!" I shout. She turns for a moment…and she looks sad…but then she smiles. And I remember all the times before…and I thought of the times we'd have after.

When she came back and took me away.

The night after it poured for two days straight and the ground was just mud. We'd run through the trees in just our bare skinned feet.

Or how we'd go to the north, through the mountains if I wanted. My red cloak leaving the way.

The time last winter when it was still warm out with snow on the ground. She'd picked me all kinds of flowers.

Or when we'd be too tired to keep walking and moving forward and we'd lay right there on the ground, sheltered by towering trees and shrubs. She'd be too tired to control herself…and I'd just run my fingers through her hair as she worships me like I'm more than what I am.

I could see it all…past and future. Patricia could make any dream I had a reality in some way. "I'll wait…I don't care how long it is. I'll wait. I love you."

"I figured as much." She calls back. "I love you too Vale…be careful okay?" She turns away again.

Life is always far to complicated. I can't help but think of how as I reflect on the last few days.

It's all lies and death.

Death and other sweet things.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, I will be adressing the note that Pat attacked Valerie's mother in the coming chapter!<strong>


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